to my one and only papsi

for the many lives that you have touched,
for the many souls that you have inspired,
for the many friends that you have loved,
your presence in this world
made a whole lot of difference.



hapPY birthDAY, MILord!

one less lonely heart, two more to go

He sang one of my favorite songs!

i was really impressed with the way Jay sang Iris last night. it didn't made him number one but placing fourth is still much better than his last week's ranking. kudos!


Sabi Ko Na nga Ba.

my instinct didn't fail me. i knew the story would have a happy ending after all. Congratulations, goddess!

i did contemplate about what i have written in my last entry. and it seems to me, between me and the high priest, i am the one who's not yet ready to be the next 'victim' it's been only seven months that i became free again and i knew deep inside that i still need some more time to breathe. but love moves in mysterious ways, as the song goes. and the future always bring a lot of surprises. i wouldn't anticipate what tomorrow will be. i just want to take each day as it comes. milord, let's take our time and enjoy as much as we could like the way it has been. whoever among us will be the lucky one whether sooner or later, may ishtar's blessing always be with thee. as for now, it's enough to know that one among the three of us is happy... at last.


Inaantok Pero Hindi Makatulog

yan ako. hehe. i was lucky to get home early today. i was planning to catch up on my sleep. it's been three days that i have been sleeping too late and waking up too early. last weekend was really busy. for two days, i have been going to my classmates' dorm, a building just across my school, to do two papers that were due this week. when i got home, i still study for my finals in radio which i took this afternoon.

it's weird. i feel sleepy but when i go to bed and close my eyes, sleep just don't set in. grrrr. so here i am now. trying to get some of my neurons to work to write this entry. and hoping sleep will visit me later after i finished reading my handout for tomorrow's exam.

it's only just begun

i just read the goddess' update about her new love life. hay, sabi ko na nga ba. what happened last saturtday was not the end of it. i believe, it's up to the goddess now which way the story goes.

ako? kamusta? e2. nasa school pa rin. i'm going to attend a gathering sa chapel. were going to pray for the upcoming finals.

i wonder how the high priest is doing. hehe. naku, there's only two of us left in the 'lonely hearts club.' we're not really that bothered, aren't we? but you know what truly bothers me is this thought... is the cycle repeating itself already? who's next? ...oh, i don't want to know.

shopping with mom

saturday morning, before i left for pharma pre- finals, mom and i had a little argument. i felt so bad. i didn't help but cry. so there i was, trying to eat my breakfast and sniffing at the same time.

nakakainis naman kase. pag may exam ako the following day, iniiwan nila ko sa bahay. mag- isang gumagawa ng lahat. tapos, may reklamo pa pag uwi nila. teka lang! med student ako. wala bang kahit konting consideration for me? hay na ko.

when i got home, syempre medyo nagddrama pa ko ng konti. hehe. nakakatuwa lang coz after i had my lunch, mom asked me to go to sm with her. syempre alam ko na ibig sabihin nun. we had shopping alright.

hehe. i was really happy. syempre ang tagal ko nang hindi nag-sshopping coz i am saving pa for a new cp.

hay, what a nice stress reliever.

one down

hay, sobrang busy talaga tong week na to. kakatapos ko lang ng pharma pre- finals. akala ko pagkatapos ng week na to, pwede na kong magpahinga. hindi pa pala. haaaaay! next week, i have a double shifting on pharma on friday, shifting sa lab d sa thursday, shifting sa para sa tuesday. walang katapusang pagbabasa.

di bale... konti na lang... matatapos na din tong sem na to.

konting tiis na lang...

_______*

i badly need a house maid. please naman kung may kilala kayo na mapagkakatiwalaan, text me asap. salamat.
_______*

congratulations to the goddess and her newly found luvie.

Party all night at Ratsky

this week is medicine week. celebrated by all the med schools in the country. Ratsky in Tomas Morato was our school's venue of our mednight since i was in first year. i wasn't able to attend for two years already. but since this year might be the last enjoyable mednight i could attend to and my friends were all convincing me, almost blackmailing me that they wouldn't go if i didn't, i decided to come. only if paps and the goddess would join me. they did. ^thanks^ so that wednesday, we partied all night, enjoyed the loud music, and danced our hearts out. hahaha! nah, the three of us despite our young age are old souls easily annoyed by the noise and the smoke from cigarette. the three of us just decided to go to the nearby coffee bean and tea leaf shop and enjoyed updating ourselves with each other's lives other and listening to michael buble's songs and light rock music. it was almost two in the morning when we went home. the goddess was so kind to let me sleep over in her house. ^thanks^ the two of us, though tired and sleepy, still chatted some more. i don't know what time we fell asleep. i did woke up early as usual and went home as soon as i fixed my things.

well, the truth is, i really don't want to attend the night out because i have a lot of things to be ready for. come next saturday is pre- finals in pharma. i do not have any other choice but to get a good score. friday, i have shifting in pharma and report. thursday is shifting in lab dx. so i was little disappointed when some of my friends who convinced me backed out at the last minute. oh well, that's their lost anyway.

i don't look good at this one coz the light from the table was shining on my face. taken at coffee bean and tea leaf shop beside ratsky.

the goddess and yours truly posting at ratsky's grand stairs.

photos taken by the high priest. ^thanks :) ^

fighting temptation

i've been abstaining from shopping since last week and so far i have surpassed a lot of really tempting temptations. isn't it annoying when you're determined to do something then suddenly all those yummy temptations surround you? nakakapraning grabe.

last saturday, i was in SM San Lazaro with three classmates. the two were actually my groupmates in lab diagnosis' med mission and the other one, is one of my groupmates' boyfriend. after the exam, we went to bambang to buy some stuffs for the med mission then we headed to sm for lunch. everything was fine until nurhaya and i went to the supermarket. nyay. andami naming nadaanang stores that sell beautiful bags, accessories, clothes and shoes. and they're cheap! mhyyyy ghod. i was drooling! i still have about a thousand pesos at that time and mhyyy, many times i wanted to hand to the counter some of the items that i have looked at. darn. if only i don't have to buy a new phone. if only my mom would buy it for me. hay, inisip ko na lang, i won't be able to wear those clothes and they will just ran out of fashion because i don't go out. the only time i leave the house wearing clothes other than my uniform is on sundays when i attend mass. besides, my sacrifice will only be a month and a week long na lang. well, that made me feel a little better.

sunday came, akala ko nakaligtas na ko sa mga temptations. hindi pa pala. i saw an ad in the newspaper that really broke my heart. Michael Buble' is going to have a concert at the big dome on october 22! *sniff sniff
i just wanna cry. ill miss his concert again. i have to miss his concert or else half of my savings will be stashed out because the ticket is so expensive.

bakit nga ba?

It was monday noon as i was having lunch alone in the cafeteria when a familiar face walked towards my table. 'oi, ba't nag- iisa ka?' i knew it was only a way of saying 'hi' to an old classmate but i can't help but get affected.

so bakit nga ba ako nag- iisa?

1. absent si ate noreen, ang nag- iisa kong kasama. actually, lagi naman syang umuuwi sa apartment nya tuwing lunch (with or without platings) so mag- isa lang ako on that precious hour of the day

2. hindi ko na classmates sina marivi and co. ang lagi kong kasama dati sa lunch, sa classroom, sa pag- uwi. hay, i really miss them. minsan, i can't help but wish na sana sana sana hindi na lang nangyari ang nangyari. can't turn back time. it's done and i'm alone.

3. hindi ko naging classmates si jho. her barkada was the first group i went with. syempre first year pa yun. things changed. people redirect their sails and moved out from med school. ayun, only the three of us were left- jho, marvin, and me. jho and i were in different sections (at dadalawa lang ang section namin. aba naman, akalain mong hindi pa kami naging mag- classmates!). at si marvin, iniwan na talaga kami. he's promoted and were not! but we still get a chance to talk to each other. classmate ko sya sa radio class which is every monday, 1 pm. last monday, i couldn't help but tell him my sentiments. aba, sabi nya, sana nga maging midyear na lang sya para makasama nya kami ulit. nakakamiss daw kasi... hay, nako marvin. if it will cost you your being regular, wag na lang. kami na lang dito.

4. walang papsi at tina. hay, obvious ba, hindi na to college at wala na kami sa PLM. hay nostalgia's setting in. wla bang background music dyan?

5. wala ako sa PLM. hay, plm i miss you. bakit nga ba hindi na lang ako sa plm nag- med. why am i here in a place where individualism is the name of the game?

hay nako. this is hopeless. mas mabuti pa, gagayahin ko na lang yung girl sa movie who said '...i'm not here to flirt...' (ano nga ba yung movie na yun?) hay nako, hala, tell it to yourself... i'm here to become a doctor. never mind if i'm alone... sigh

bakit nga ba (da 2nd)

hay nako, ang bababa ng mga platings ko. kase naman!!!! hindi ako magaling mag- memorize! darn, i can't make myself memorize a handout that i don't understand what it's all about. heck, kaya nga ako umaatend ng mga dull lectures para naman pag nagbigay sila ng handouts hindi ako mahihirapang maka- relate. well maybe this is the reason why i'm having a hard time in second year- ayokong mag- memorize!!!

wag na nga lang yan, let's move on to other things. yung masarap ikwento. let's talk about my crushes. hehehe

from politics, former colleagues Sec. Mike Defensor and Rep. Francis Escudero are now from different sides of the fence. but even with different views and opinion regarding the hello garci and the rest of the impeachment brouhaha, these two rise above all others because they have retained their diplomacy. you wouldn't see them in the news saying nasty things about each other. i must say, they were raised very well. i hope there will come a time that the two of them will be on the same side.

DENR Sec. Mike Defensor

Sorsogon Rep. Francis Escudero

Jay Perillo. he's one of the finalist in channel 2's search for a star in a million season 2. this 100% chinese is really a hearthrob and a chickboy (he already had 24 girlfriends). i like the quality of his voice. it's somewhat rusty which makes his singing more interesting and it must've also added to his appeal. mhy, but this guy is only 18! well then, he's my first crush who is younger than me.

blush*

now i feel better.

note: this entry was drafted on the posted date -hp

JOKE TIME!!!!

halleluiah!!!wala akong dengue. i do have pharyngitis though and hypersensitivity reaction due to my varicella vaccine (kaya ako may fever). after i got the result, i invited ate noreen (who had been so kind to accompany me to the hospital and waited till i got the lab results) to celebrate with me. kumain kami ng kumain hanggang sumuko na yung mga sikmura namin. hehehe. that stashed out a big amount of my allowance. pero ok lang. at least i've enjoyed even if i'm now broke.

when i got home, my temperature was 38.7 centigrade. i had pharma exam the following day (which is actually today) and i was able to study just this morning. buti na lang hindi ganun kahirap yung exam.

let's all be happy.

it's joke time!

in a game show, the host asked the contestant to spell 'happy birthday.'

C: H-A-P-P-Y--B-I-R-T-H-Y

LET'S SING IT!

happy birthy to you/happy birthy to you/
happy birthy happy birthy/ happy birthy to you//

whahahaharharhargh

waiting for the final verdict

one more hour and i will finally get the result of my cbc and platelet count. i've been feverish for three days now. ate leafar (my schoolmate in MCS who's 3 years my senior and now a resident in the medical center) said i might have dengue. i hope my platelet count won't confirm that. yokong ma- ospital.

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a friend texted me this morning saying how discontented and tired he is. i don't know... i can't see why he has that feeling. comparing himself to others, sobrang maswerte sya. a lot of people would love to exchange places with him pa nga. hay, some people doesn't see the beauty in their life. it's true that it's hard to find contentment in this world but that doesn't excuse us from being unappreciative of what we have.

just in case you have the same feeling with my friend, don't forget to count your blessings.

debut side story

i already miss my nieces and nephews. actually, mas namimiss ko yung dalawang pamangkin kong japanese. hehehe. reina was just three years old pero sobrang madaldal kaya lang hindi marunong magtagalog! hahaha! all i can tell her is 'dame' (i don't know if that's the right spelling), which means 'bawal.'her brother Yugi is the cutest. they got a lot of attention in the debut because their talking japanese. na- amaze siguro yung mga tao.

hay nako, until now parang naririnig ko pa rin sila. siguro after i finished med, i'll start learning nipponggo so that i can teach those kids to speak Filipino. hehe. the irony of it!

APPLE of my eyes

I've been to my niece debut party tonight. It's been nine years since the last time I saw her and her siblings. I can still remember the times when mom would take one of the two girls in our house and we'll take care of them for a week. those kids have gone through a lot of hard times since their mom died… Looking at them now, I cannot help but get amazed with how much the've grown. Halos hindi ko na sila makilala. Especially Raylord, the youngest and the only boy, who looks older than his age. Iba talaga nagagawa ng hangin sa states. Hehehe.

My aunt, cousins, and I can't help but get emotional starting when Apple read her Dad's letter… nakakatuwa. just wanna share the first part coz it really touched me... the day she was born, kuya and my cousin were so scared because she didn't cry at first. He held him so close to him (even if she was covered with blood) and didn't let go of her until the moment she cried. Before handling her to the nurse, he whispered to her 'welcome to this world, baby. You're the apple of my eyes.' And I guess that's how she got her nickname. (wink wink).I also remember the time of Ate Edith's funeral. On the last blessing, Kuya Marvin opened the casket and kissed her on the lips as if she was still alive. He cried and whispered to her 'I love you.' (wink wink). Even if I was still young then, I can sense so much love in him. at that momemt I wished that someday, I could find someone like him…

I almost cried when my aunt hugged Kuya Marvin. They weren't in good terms the time he and the kids left the country. I could only guess how much emotion she had let go when she hugged him… well, I guess, time has already healed the wounds of yesterday.

The three of them- Apple, Vina, and Raylord, remind me how good God is. That through the dark clouds, there's always the sun shining. That even in darkness, there's hope… there is GOD.

I realized now, I should live life to the fullest and love LOVE to the fullest. Zeng taught me to seize the day, coz anything can happen tomorrow. We do not take hold of anything. Who knows, maybe tomorrow we'll be robbed off with our future without even having the chance to do or say whatever is in our heart. My nieces and nephew taught me to hope even if it feels the world is turning its back on you. They also made me realize how beautiful life is. Even with all the hardship and sadness existence might caused us, it is still a beautiful world and it is still a wonderful life.

God is really good. He always remind me of beautiful things during my darkest days.

live life to the fullest

cybermed has already returned blogspot (thanks. wink wink). it's already 5.20 on my watch but i'm still here in school. i still have to attend a meeting with the MSC president. actually, i should't be a part of it since i am only an assistant secretary of our class but i guess, with what had happened to Zeng, i will take her place for the rest of the semester.

the news about her sickness really shocked us all. she was diagnosed with viral encephalitis. from what i heard from our classmates who already visited her, she was into coma for three days. and now, the only response they can get from her everytime they called her name is eye opening. i do not know what her GCS score is. her family wouldn't disclose it to us. but i guess it's a pretty bad number. i could only hope that she can restore her normal functions when she get out of it. hindi na importante kung hindi na sya makakapag- med basta mabuhay lang sya ng normal.

i do not know where she got the disease. we were speculating that she may have gotten it in the ward if not in other public places. the inoculation could have occured months before the signs and symptoms. that kept us wondering now, are we still safe? do we have to do something to be sure that we didn't get infected?

naiisip ko tuloy kung sa kin nangyari yun. ewan ko... hindi pa ko handa. marami pa kong hindi nagagawa... pano kung hindi na ko makabalik para magawa yun?

hay....

please help us pray for Zeng.

carpe diem.

without you

Paolo Santos Lyrics

all under one heaven

i watched the sona yesterday. that's the true sona of the president no less. madami kaseng ambitious people who are doing their own sona just to grab attention from the public. i was actually thinking if she would resign in the middle of the speech. buti na lang hindi. i guess staying as the president, despite the call for resignation and other black propaganda against her and her family, she is already doing the 'supreme sacrifice'. i wonder if those people on the streets wanting her to resign realize the confusion it will make if she step down. the true issue here is not about honesty. no politician can claim that he is honest, i repeat, NO ONE! the true issue here is, who will take over? a lot of personalities have gone out declaring their wanting to become the next leader. pwede ba, kung si eddie gil lang din or someone like him, wag na lang po. plus, governors especially in mindanao, have declared that if gloria step down, they will have their own republic. mas magulo di ba? i don't have a personal liking for Mrs. Arroyo but i believe she is the only one suited to lead considering the present situation. i remember tuloy that chinese film, Hero. i hope one realize that even how bad the image the head has now, she is still the one person who can keep the nation as one. ironic it may seem but looking at the whole picture, that's the truth.

i hope they'll be able to make the charter change as soon as possible.

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i thought i have run far enough, only to realize i was just running in circles. when will the long yearning end?

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that's it. puno na ko. thanks to the person who taught me when to call it 'tama na.' i know that i can hold so much patience even though people are saying ugly things even in front of me. pati na din ugly gestures. you know me, ayoko ng gulo, kaya as much as possible, quiet na lang ako.pero, don't they realize how mean they are?por que pa silang tinawag na 'friends.' siguro, this time i have to speak it out. siguro naman may marerealize yung taong yun afterwards. i hope he will.