tic talk ala chika minute

i had buckets of sweat yesterday despite the aircon. it's the first time i drove borgy all by myself yesterday. thanks to my super bait ambulance driver who was so supportive. i drove in a convoy with him driving the ambulance. it was scary but i think i had been more aware of my mistakes.

i wish i can have a picture with borgy and make it my profile pic in fb but my 'official photographer' is a little busy. well i might do that myself over the weekend coz ive been missing doing the clickin. i wont do it to brag about having a car though i confess i am a little but i am just a proud momma! and borgy and me, we're together everyday for almost a week now. he's my constant date to work, hee hee.

parang ang bilis ng oras, ano? it's mid june already! i am dragging myself to read harrison everyday and scare myself that ive got a few months left to prepare. it also excites me that it will only be a few weeks before i ride my first airbus! awww i feel pitied now. i have rode everything but the airbus. im more excited than scared because ill be doing it by myself. haha.

i remember last week, i went out to watch satc2 with kla, one of my hs buddies whom i haven't seen for ages. we were supposed to be a group but ended up with only the two of us because of last minute cancellation from rhodsie and master neil due to health issues and stuff. hope that when the next twilight installment comes, we will be a group watching. oh i just love reunions now. catching up on each other's lives and at the same time reminiscing the old times. i have been skyping with my dear bestfriend zel whom i haven't spoke to in ages also and i was so amazed with how much she has matured! she was our baby back then but now, she's the one giving me advices on love and life in general. i miss her. i miss how i loved huggin her back then. ang lambot nya kase. hehe. (peace!!!) next week ill attend the wedding of mark, a friend i had way back in elementary. it's gonna be a sweet reunion after more than a decade of not seeing each other and a sad despedida coz he and his wifey are migrating to canada. next month, i'll be flying to visit my college dorm buddy who's down south. and i promised to go out with another college friend when she comes home in aug. i would love to fetch her from the airport. how i wish i can drive in the metro by that time harhar.

ok time to go now. hope next time there will be pictures.

>>

paalam at maraming salamat

yes. the time has come for me to leave the place that provided me comfort and solace. i could recall how sad and hurt i was from all the things that had happened before the last year ended and during the first few months of this year in addition to the dissatisfaction i got from my so called job and catatonic/ sedentary lifestyle. one day came that i finally said to myself "enough." i looked for a job, then the next day the chief of clinics called me up and told me ill be starting after three days. fast and crazy as it may seem but i knew that was 'it'. no turning back.



it was the first week of march and the summer's heat was just setting in. the hospital is an hour ride from the pier to the hospital. as i see the place, i realized what i have been asking was given to me... to be in a far away island and enjoy the rush of the ocean. truly, ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find.

my stay there though brief gave me a lot of good memories. i have also met a lot of good people, and gained friends. i am also grateful given the chance to practice my profession there. i have learned a lot from two great consultants who were my mentors in internal medicine (i was resident in charge of the department of internal medicine during my stay there) and all the other consultants. they have always been there for us. i must say, going there is one of the best decisions i have made. it was nice going out of one's comfort zone. challenging one's self and knowing what you are made of is already a reward in itself.

now the time has come to move on. i had to give up my job there because i will be needing time to study for the exams and for the residency training itself. i wont go jobless though. i have already accepted to be a regular physician in a health insurance clinic just near my place (that was my other job in between my duties down south). it doesn't pay much but it's so benign and conducive for studying. that is already fair enough for me.

i will miss my friends though, especially my two roommates.




...and also our dorm we fondly call our little house





i will also miss our pleasure trips we do on our free days.



and the cheap but cute clothes in the town. the place has no department stores and no malls but some of the clothes we've found were treasures!




i wore this today in the clinic and matched it with my celine wedges. i bought the dress for only a hundred and seventy bucks. that's mamburao fashion at its finest. haha.

i will miss you, mamburao!





>>

cool change

i didn't realize how hot the weather has become until i finally left the house and visited my old neighborhood in the city. malamig pa rin naman dito sa min. nakakatulog pa din ako na hindi kailangan kahit electric fan. pero sa city, hay naku ang init! and this rotating brownout really sucks big time. kamusta naman talaga. dati pag walang koryente at mainit, yung mga tao pumupunta sa mall para magpalamig pero ngayon kahit sa mall mainit na rin. considering na nasa isa sa mga ayala malls ako kanina huh. hindi kinaya ng generator nila ang mga pangyayari. ayun, 9pm pa lang nagsasara na lahat ng boutiques at kainan. eh usually may bukas pa till 10pm di ba? feel ko pa naman sana manood kanina ng sine pero wag nalang. baka pati sa sinehan mawalan ng power eh hindi ko makakayanan andun sa loob ng ganun kadilim. iaasa ko nalang yan sa dibidi. parang naging isang greenhouse nalang ang trinoma kanina at factory ng carbon dioxide. hirap huminga. para kang mauubusan ng hangin sa loob katulad ng naranasan ng namatay na mga isda sa dalampasigan ng laguna de bay.

ibang klase talaga ang taon na to. di pa tapos ang first quarter pero andami na nangyari. para akong may scolio na pilit itinutuwid and likod. ouch! on the first day of this month came the realization of how much i miss doing the consultation thing; seeing patients again, listening to their problems, and making them well. thanks to ate madel who dragged me to a medical mission somewhere in malolos. it was more like an omen though coz i lost my so called job when i got home.

kamustasa talaga. im the girl who almost lost everything. I --- lost friends, lost job, lost my only source of income for four months. hay buhay. pero kahit pa, i never questioned God. i didn't ask if this was His way of showing His love for me. i have faith that everything has it's purpose and are always for the better. it wasn't a question of love. it's a matter of faith. i remember when i had to leave my job(s) because of my condition, i thought i would go back to my old parasite self asking mom for my needs and wants but then i was able to find another job that suits my restrictions. when my life was in the trough, He didn't leave me empty handed. so Now, maybe, this is His way of telling me that those days were over. now i must go and claim my life back.

lo and behold, after three days, meron na kong nahanap na bagong raket. eto lang ang masarap sa pagmomoonlight. pag ayaw mo na, e di iwan mo. madaling umayaw, at madali ding humanap ng iba. para ka lang nagpapalit ng panty. hehe. but, at isang malaking BUT yun, quality ones are so hard to find. sana lang enjoy tong nahanap ko kase mejo matagal din akong mawawala.

so a few days from now, ill be leaving this hot and humid place with it's rotating brownouts. ill be in that small island somewhere in the south, alone, to do what i missed doing and enjoy the rush of the ocean.



>>

current status removed

sh@t! i thought i would not be able to remove that post. whew. i think i better stop doing fb. you know when you have all these emotions going on and your hands landed on a keyboard you find yourself exposing to the whole world how you feel and yes, afterward regretting that you did it big time. im no krissy A. and i have learned to keep things low key. but hey, i still need this blog to vent a little sometimes. well at least this is not like fb where everyone knows whose wall this belongs. i wish life also have that remove button. you don't want your current status? that's easy. click remove and then type another one.

when things get awry, it calls for a bonding time with friends. hang out with them and talk nonstop until you get it all out of your system then come home relieved. well that is exactly the problem now. when i was working my ass in the hospital as a junior and senior intern, i was craving for time to spend with friends and maybe a special someone. now that i have all these time, i can't even find someone to spend it with. where were they? true friends are hard to find and hard to keep. i lost one last year and two this year. those were the closest ones.

a couple of nights ago, i talked to a friend who is living miles away. we fondly call each other buddies. maybe, she sensed how i was feeling that's why she called me. the conversation was nice and long and personal. i miss it. i miss that kind of conversation that you know someone is truly listening to you, empathizing to whatever issue you have. in the end, she told me something that is maybe a little bit painful to accept but that's what true friends are. Friends are those who are not afraid to tell you bitter things not to crush your spirit but to help you to become a better person. deep inside, you know that those bitter things were always the truth.

her words were:

"ikaw kase bud, kahit dati pa, ang hilig-hilig mong pumasok sa mga komplikadong bagay..."

- to which i strongly disagreed and told her all i wanted was the opposite. but looking back, bud was right. what all those persons have in common was me. whatever role i played in their lives was something that i allowed or chose to be. i wanted something else but i did otherwise. i can't blame that to some twist of fate.

she also added,

"...go out there. meet strangers. do whatever you want to do. don't let it hold you back."

i was afraid. now i know i shouldn't be. maybe it will take a lot of getting used to. but i won't hold myself back. not now. not this time.



>>

confirmed

we were hoping the news wasn't true but all those i have texted confirmed it. she died yesterday. cause of death: strangulation. for whatever reason, i don't know. i don't think anybody knows.

have you ever thought of taking your own life? the only time i remember i wished im dead was when i was cleaning the intestines of my dead rotting cat pudai, a specimen i had when i was still a bio student. i wanted to throw her away because i can't stop the decomposition from happening anymore. maggots were everywhere. gross. but i can't. i'm going to fail my anatomy class if i did so i just wished some mad man just come running out of nowhere and shot me in the head and it will all be over. babaw no? effect ata ng formalin yun. hehe.

seriously, i wish i knew her more. i wish at least she got a chance to talk to someone and felt loved, secured, and learn there's someone she can trust. for weeks now, i have been wishing to have a girl friend (oi not in a romantic way ha). someone i can chat all day about anything without having to think about solutions. someone who can bum around with me, perhaps we can go to some isolated beach and bask in the sun in our skimpy bikinis (yes, i have the guts). i only have a few girl friends and all of them are taken already. they have more responsibilities now and a regular date they can't just ignore. though i know my boys will always be there for me but it's still different to be with the girls. i can be kikay and all; wear make up, a fancy dress, and high heels without worrying that i will get teased and laughed at (my boys can be so unforgiving). but i still love my boys despite the fact that when im with them, i have to blend. nagmumukha na tuloy akong tomboy minsan.

i have added to my birthday wish list to have an unattached, carefree, girl friend who can stand my trippings in life (haha). it's just kind of sad that someone i have come across with committed suicide. we went to the same med school and same internship program. im just thinking, maybe i could be her friend. i could have been the one to be there for her, share my bedroom perhaps if she doesn't want to spend the night alone. and maybe, she wouldn't have thought of killing herself. hay. kalungkot.

if there's someone out there who meets the criteria above, or at least anyone who needs somebody, im just here. im alone too. we can hang out together and be happy.




>>

bagong taon part 2 sa araw ng pag- ibig

few more days before the chinese new year. i still have time to reread my resolutions and add some other things that i wanted to accomplish for this year. woohoo. buti nalang may chinese new year. meron pa akong chance for adjustments. hehe. call it madaya. i don't care. i feel lucky having another new year celebration in february especially when my january didn't turn out so well. i literally felt a dagger in my chest while attending mass on january 1st, much like to an angina pectoris. don't worry. it's not health related and it's already a case solved.

is it also perfect timing that the new year will be celebrated on heart's day? hmmm that reminds me, this is the third year i am going to celebrate heart's day in my fabulous single blessedness state. well, i really don't mind coz the first year after my ex and i split up, i spent valentines with my boys. they gave me a surprise dinner date with them and got a bouquet of roses pa. hay. im really lucky to have friends like them. on the second year i spent the whole day studying for the boards but still was lucky to receive a rose from one of my guy pals. this year, i am not expecting anything. spending it this time with my family is enough for me. hindi naman exclusive for lovers ang balentayms.

love. pano na nga ba ang umibig? oi ang gandang title in fernez. i believe we all have a lesson or two learned about love. we also had our share of heartaches and joy in loving. at this age, lahat naman siguro tayo naranasan ng madapa at natuto na ding bumangon. naalala ko noong naghiwalay kami ng ex ko, nag-wish ako na sana yung susunod ko namang love story yung parang feel good movie naman. awat na ang heavy drama. sana yung mas maraming kilig moments at syempre, sana this time, yung may happy ending na. sa kabila ng lahat ng hindi magandang nangyari, naniniwala pa rin ako sa 'and they live happily ever after'. naniniwala pa din ako na meron talagang 'wagas na pag-ibig.'

minsan, naisipan kong balikan yung mga paborito kong feel good movies katulad nung mga movies ni JLC at sarah, JLC and bea. tapos, binalikan ko din yung mga heavy drama nina sharon-gabi at aga-lea. napansin ko lang, hindi naman nagkakalayo ang mga conflict sa istorya nila. hindi naman masyadong mababaw yung problema sa feel good movie at hindi rin naman kalaliman yung problema sa mga heavy drama. mas matitindi lang talaga ang mga dialogues sa heavy drama at syempre, sa feel good movie, nakasisigurado ka na may happy ending. naisip ko tuloy, siguro ganun lang din sa totoong buhay. pwede nating gawing heavy drama or feel good movie ang takbo ng istorya. pwede nating palakihin o paliitin ang isang isyu. sana pwede rin pumili ng happy ending.

at this age, ano na ba ang natutunan ko about relationship? sa tingin ko hindi naman masyadong marami kung ikukumpara sa mga kaibigan ko. isa pa, i always felt that i was outgrown by my friends. isa ako sa mga kakaunting natitira na single pa rin hanggang ngayon. pero ganun naman talaga pag nasa ganito kang propesyon. parang kang late bloomer. hindi ko pa naranasan na iisang tao lang ang nakikita ko bago ako matulog at pag- gising ko sa umaga. hindi ko din alam kung ano ang pakiramdam maghintay sa gabi na umuwi yung taong mahal mo. hanggang ngayon, naririnig ko lang sila. lahat ng alam ko, base lang sa kwento ng ibang tao tungkol sa mga problema nila sa relasyon at pagpapamilya.

noong bata pa ako, akala ko pag nakita mo na yung taong mamahalin mo at minahal ka din nya, yun na yung end ng story. tapos nung nakipagrelasyon na ako, na-realize ko na hindi pala ganun. para palang makina ang isang relasyon. laging kelangan langisan at i- tune up para tumagal. na- realize ko din na hindi lang pala basta masaya ako, okey na. hindi lang pala tungkol sa kin ang isang relasyon. kelangan din pala ng sakripisyo para sa minamahal mo. a relationship is a compromise and always a work in progress. and just like other things in life, you can't ask for fruits you didn't sow.

sa love, meron akong konting important lessons na natutunan. one is never say never. nakaranas ka na ba ng sitwasyon na parang paulit ulit na nangyayari sa buhay mo? yun parang pakiramdam mo, ayaw kang tantanan? ako may isa. nung una parang nakakainis isipin. sarap mag reklamo ng bakit palagi nalang ako. umiwas nung pangalawang beses, thinking, natuto na kase ako kaya 'never again!'. but then i realized, hindi naman pagkatuto ang pag- iwas. and not because i allowed it to happen again means that i didn't learn. baka naman kaya nauulit para mabigyan ako ng chance na baguhin ko naman yung takbo ng istorya. yung gawin ko naman yung hindi ko nagawa noon para maimprove yung outcome.

siguro more than hoping to be found, we must learn to keep our hearts open to the possibility. we all wish for forever but we don't even want to take that step of putting our hearts on the line. i don't know if it is better to live a life alone, assured that nobody can hurt you than to take the risk of loving and feel being loved in return. i didn't wish to be alone my entire life. i still have that faith that i won't be left empty handed. again and again, i will put my heart on the line. yes, it might hurt but at least i have that chance to love and be loved and belong to a relationship that may last for a lifetime.




>>

reunited

something good happened today. my long "battle" with Ishtar has finally came to an end.

Sya ang salarin sa eye bags ko dati. hindi ko sya jowa but she is more than a friend because she is like a sister to me.

to love or to hate. to befriend or to let go. to fight or to forgive. to learn or to regret. to bridge the gap or to break ties. to move forward or to look back. life has so many choices. so many possibilities. so many things to consider. as we get older, the simple things aren't that simple anymore... or so it seems. but then again, it all boils down to choices. at the end of the day, it's the choices that we make that matters. because those that we choose can change our lives forever.



>>

TGI Friday and Saturday

all burned out from the passing week, two of my boy buds, N and R, and I decided to meet Friday night and have dinner in the mall. it was already 8pm when N and I met in the northern end of QC. we were really running late but i was glad we made it to shang before 9pm. N is able to drive that fast in the city already. hehe. R was not able to make it to the dinner though. he was still at work until 9.30pm, attention Selecta!!! its that late awready!? N and I ate at pepper lunch and decided to join the HP contest just for fun. I loved the photo he took of me. sad that i don't think we'll win because the picture was printed out in sepia coz the printer is already running out of ink. kamusta naman yun. but it's okay. after all, we were there to eat and have a good time. and having choco lava cake and ice cream is a bliss already. we met R after and decided to have a midnight snack (for us but dinner for R) in a lugawan sa kanto. sarap ng lugaw na yun. hehe.

its always fun going out with my boy buds. we talk anything under the sun, laugh our hearts out at anything funny or not, hang out even in simple places and still have fun. they also give the best advice in the world although you got to be strong to take them coz they will just say it flat. no sugar coating. no pasakalye. i guess that is the ultimate proof of my being one of the boys. i can take their advices in a constructive way and not get hurt even if they are displeasing to the ear.

the three of us. it was the second time i wore my yellow pointed flats.

saturday, i went to rizal with mom and aunt to attend a surprise birthday party for my cousin. she turned 57 this year. yup, my cuz is that old already (but for the record, she's not the oldest among all my cuz). it was held in a small farm-resort. i decided to stay in the mango trees and lie in a hammock while they were having fun inside singing their hearts out in the videoke. i was also able to meet my pamangin sa pinsan, C who is going to apply for fellowship (yup he is definitely older than me) this year in the same hospital that i wanted to get in. he did a good job explaining to mom the highs and lows of being a doc. thanks, C.

me reading while lying in a hammock and enjoying the fresh air. lahvet!

we left at 5pm to attend another birthday party, this time in the upscale wack wack village. Ninang E's mother in law celebrated her 85th birthday. we were in awe when we arrived in their 6000 sq.m land which have, apart from their mansion home, its own veranda enclosed in glass (and fully airconditioned) which can hold as many as 10 big tables for 50 guests. we were told it's going to be a simple dinner with family and close friends but there we were, eating dinner with an orchestra playing at the background (which I later learned were Bernie Pasamba's group. His string ensemble were former members of the Manila Chamber Orchestra).

mother, as she is fondly called, has a rag to riches life story. she was a former basurera pushing her kariton in the streets of Clark with her children. her first business venture was buying ukay- ukay clothes per kilo and reselling them. then she moved into buying surplus home appliances from the port to sell them in manila. from there, they were able to buy land in our province and in the later years developed it to a subdivision (Pleasant Hills). mother has always been business minded and never afraid of doing business ventures. mom told me that mother remained to be simple despite her riches. she recalls, they always see each other in our town's palengke and buy recados together. she's still fond of going to divisoria and eat in the local carinderia. they also have this running joke in the family that they say went from plaka to casette tape, to cd to dvd- they always answer "walang pera" when asked by people. haha. ang kuripot pala ni mother.

ninang E is the one in red. she has 8 children who are all grown up and she has apos already. but she's still pretty and sexy, di ba? i wish i will be like her in my older years.

>>

thanks for the eyebags part II

last night was another night of heartache (and puyat!!!) for me but minus the tears and sky rocketing anger. after a long sigh (now sighs are becoming therapeutic) i have realized that even in my anger, a powerful hand was there that guided me that i was able to do what i have to do (or it should have been what i had to say). thanks, bro. it is true that the only people who can hurt us are the ones we love. and sometimes, we are just as guilty, hurting them knowingly or unknowingly.

but even if we were hurt, we cried, we bleed, we got mad, at the end of the day, it is still the love we have for that person that lingers. and i am just as amazed that through it all, i am still able to return love. i could have just walked away (much easier) or kill that person with my words (haha if words can kill).

there was this card that was given to me 10 years ago that said, 'when troubles seem too heavy, fly like a bird high into the sky and see how small the earth becomes.' there could be a lot of interpretation to that. but for me, it's looking at the problem from a different perspective (and not running away from it). when we are ruled by strong emotion, we tend to focus on that one aspect that hurt us. we tend to gravitate more towards it. rising to a higher ground, makes us see that what we are looking at is just a part of a bigger picture. and when we are able to see what that picture is all about, we come to understand. and the hurt and anger we have were appeased.

having mentioned strong emotions, i remember one of my favorite saints, Ignatius de Loyola. he wrote the Rules of Discernment, an autobiographical masterpiece but with a universal application. one of the lessons was, we should not make a decision whenever we are governed by a strong emotion (too much joy, anger, sadness, or fear) because that decision tends to be the work of a devil. learning this is really a challenge. how easy is shutting up whenever we are very angry? how many couples break up in the middle of a fight? how many people take their own life because of too much anxiety? how many girls lose their virginity because of too much joy (haha. sorry, had to say something ishtar-ish)? so whenever we are at the height of our emotions, don't act first. remember to pause, reflect, and pray.

there's this one story that our parish priest related in one of his homily which is like eons ago (i really like the story that's why i remembered). its about two best of friends. time came when one of them was about to get married. when they were in the church, the bride stood at the back ready to walk down the aisle when her best friend came running towards her and slapped her. and then the commotion begun. the girl who slapped her best friend was immediately thrown out of the church and was condemned for life for ruining the most important occasion in her best friend's life (now i am laughing remembering that story. honga no, what a coincidence). one day, the priest saw the girl in the church praying. remembering what happened, the priest went to the girl and asked, 'why did you do that to your friend? aren't you suppose to be the first one who should be happy for her? why did you slap her on the most special day of her life?' the girl looked up to the priest and said, 'father, kase po may malaking lamok na nakadapo sa pisngi nya. ayoko po sana sya makagat kaya nagawa ko yun.' now i know why it became a favorite. coz it made me laugh hard when i heard the ending.

an act is an act. we can take it in different ways, give a hundred interpretation to it. run our lives around it depending on how we see it. but again, an act is just an act. without intention, it is lifeless, meaningless, amoral. maybe instead of scrutinizing the act, we should dig into what the intention was. motives are the driving force of our actions.

i hope my last installment will be the last in this growing 'word war' in our inbox (--or so it seems. hihi. coz more than you know or it seems like, it was designed to convey an important lesson. ;D). can i tell you a secret? here it goes: i have not given up. coz love doesn't just give up.

i hope we all have a beautiful day ahead.



>>

one batch. one decade. one great reunion

i was there. half an hour before the party was over. on that day, i was out from work at 7pm, my best buds, D and K, arrived at my house at 9pm then we waited some more somewhere in q.c. for R (we fondly call her first lady now). it's been a while since we saw our dear friend FL (first lady) and i was happy to be her passenger on our way to the venue (the two boys were in another car). we may not have been the best of friends in hs but our ties were drawn closer being the only two female in a group of 12. yes, im not their only princess as what it usually appears like. its just that im here and FL now lives in zambales with her dear hubby and daughter.

i had no plans of attending that reunion. even JB's persuasiveness didn't affect me . maybe because i had more bad memories then being one of the most bullied girl in the batch. i would even believe i could pass as the most hated girl in HS not because i was the most wicked cruelest person but because i didn't befriend those "uptown girls". i was happy to be simple. i didn't even care if i own nothing branded. we weren't rich to begin with and i wouldn't, for the life of me, ask mom to buy me a bag or a pair of shoes that will cost a thousand bucks just to show off. that annoying group wouldn't have noticed my existence if only the most famous and sort of influential person in the batch didn't have a crush on me and a rich girl (she was really rich and not just pretending to be one) didn't make me her best friend. maybe what even made the matter worse was that i was not really that accommodating back then. my shyness was mistaken as kasungitan. i was too shy to mingle. i was even scared of my own voice. (that is why i braved to join theater to overcome that shyness and eventually became a core group officer of that organization in my senior year which i also believe added more fire to their anger). so i spent my high school being the object of their hatred. i bet someone got to hate me first before she get accepted in their group. i was just happy that the few friends i had then stayed by my side and that they saw that im not really a bad person and i didn't deserve to be treated that way. i have to say i even enjoyed college more. i had freedom in college and i learned more about the realities of life then. so upto the last minute my decision was to stay home and forget all about the reunion. But i guess i was bound to be there. by some twist of fate, someone gave me her ticket for free and on the last minute, someone offered me a ride (my driver was not really on a vacation. i just made it up coz i really didn't want to go). it was nice having seen those familiar faces again after a decade of not seeing each other. a lot have changed now. i didn't feel the division anymore. everybody was happy to mingle and take pictures with each other. the party didn't even end there. we went to pasig for an after party. i got home at 5am (my latest ever).

i love the slogan of our reunion: one batch. one decade. one grand party.









MCS high school class '99 reunion
the legend villas, mandaluyong city
december 30, 2009

after party:
Metrowalk, Pasig City





>>

the wanderlust princess left a set of footprints in Calatagan

this is not good. i have fever today and a terrible headache. plus my chest hurts too.

i've been to calatagan last weekend. it was a blast! i have met some of the rich and famous people in their own respective fields and i was floored having a glimpse of their simplicity. truly, calatagan is the "hamptons" of the philippines coz a lot of the upscale and famous people owns a property there.

the best thing about the trip is that i was able to see the "hidden treasures" of calatagan such as the Faro de Punta Santiago lighthouse which is currently not open to the public due to some legal issues concerning its ownership (a bad, influential yet famous person put it in his name and tried to put up a resort there. grrrrrr. that really made me so mad. what a total a*hole!) and there's no road that leads to it since the neighboring lands are all privately owned. this is really sad because the lighthouse is the oldest structure in calatagan. i am truly blessed to have known kuya derrick who starting an advocacy to restore the heritage sites in calatagan incuding the lighthouse. i instantly became a member of the organization.

i was just sad that i was not able to take any pictures because i failed to bring the memory card of my camera. arrrggghhh! i am also forced to buy lumix soon so i can bring it on our next calatagan adventure and other series of trips for the advocacy.

anyways, these are some of the pictures taken by oompa woompa girl (OWG).

with neil. sunset was stunning! this was taken on top of the lighthouse.

Faro de Punta Santiago lighthouse






>>

of love and friendship

since the beginning i have always chosen friendship over love. i didn't have regrets in doing it coz i believe i make the right choice every time. i believe, in friendship i can have that someone forever. in friendship no hearts could be hurt.

and now, those beliefs are challenged again. i am bothered coz this is one of those few times i ask my self, is it now time to reconsider? is it now the time to choose love over friendship?

confusion sets in.

how much time do i have left to think this over? how long will it take before you arrive?

for the longest time i have been the keeper of friendship. of peace. i have stood still. my heart was kept strong with the years of many challenges it faced and conquered. i have always won.

if i choose love over friendship, will it mean failure on my part?

how strong is my heart? how deep is your love?

if i choose you, can you promise forever? will you not make me realize tomorrow that i made the wrong decision of choosing love over friendship?

think. ponder. reflect.

a choice has to be made sooner or later.


love or friendship?


>>

trip to batangas

these were some of the pictures from our retreat in calaruega










on our last day, i went to madel's hometown (Bauan, Batangas). on our way there, we get to take a pic of fantasy world.



we had a side trip in taal. this is the taal cathedral. the largest church in asia.

recent updates

• im through with my surgery rotation at the eagle last month. and now is my last day in peridatric surgery. since it's sunday today, wala akong pasok hehe. nakaka- high talaga ang mga nakita kong cases sa pedia surgery. dun ako nakakita ng true to life craniopagus (conjoined heads) at hermaphrodite. at iba talaga mag assist sa surgery ng mga bata. kahit exlap na e hindi nauubos ang energy sa kaka- retract. hehe. pero sa isang banda, kawawa naman sila dahil bata pa sila, andami na nila pinagdadaanan sa buhay nila.
  
• nung friday, nag bike kami ni kokoy sa circle. ansaya pala! hehe. inabot na kami ng gabi doon at pagsapit ng dilim e madami akong napansin na mga guys na naka maong at sando with matching maliit na backpack. patambay- tambay lang sila dun at kahit ilang beses na namin sila naiikutan sa aming pagbbike, e andun pa din sila sa may mga bato or bench, nakaupo na parang may hinihintay. tanong: ano kaya ang pakay nila sa circle? at sino kaya ang hinihintay nila? hehe.
  
• may bago na kong baby. dumating na sya! ang puti puti at magaan. ang name nya ay mac. :)
  
• gusto ko mag swimming!!!! wala bang mag- aaya jan?
  

the past few weeks...

airsoft with my boy buds

bicol med mission. picture taken at phivocs viewing deck

my last day at the community. my big group together with the city health officers of marikina

how's my week PART 2

2nd week of the love month

• sunday was the burial of my uncle anseng who died of liver cancer. mom wasn't able to attend because she was still in the hospital recuperating.
  
• monday, mom went home already. i was absent then coz i have to take care of paying the bills and all the rest. its hard when you are the eldest 'available' child. you have to learn how to stand up for your family. it was a nice learning experience.
• wednesday, i was into binge eating. it wasnt due to an emotional crisis but it was because of the yummy danggit and sweet fish skeleton from davao. i matched it with diced kamatis which i brought from philcoa after madel and i went to the photocopy-han and isaw (darn, naubusan ba naman kami!?!) at UP and itlog na pula from pateros. my roommate and i really loved it! meron pa kaming appetizer na chicharon from bulacan (the best hehe) dipped in spiced vinegar. hmmm... it was a real delight! taob ang 2 gatang na sinaing hehe.
  
• thursday was valentine's day. i woke up happy which was surprising. bogs was the first one who greeted me and it really means so much that i was given importance by my friends. he told me he planned to wake up at midnight to greet me. he wasnt able to do that for some reason but considering his thoughtfulness was enough. lunch time neil called and told me to go to gateway at 7pm. i asked why but he was evasive. the call just gave me a feeling he's going to set me up on a blind date. so there i was todo ayos and todo bihis. haha. i arrived late at kinakabahan. neil, koy and reg were all there. then i found out i wasn't set up with anybody! they just planned a dinner date for the singles in our barkada. we had dinner in seafoods island and had boodle feast which was really yummy then had starbucks afterwards. bongga talaga coz before we started our meal the boys handed me a bouquet of roses with different colors. i was really touche'd! i'm so thankful to have friends like them. da best!
• friday (today) koy fretched me in my apartment since he did some business near my place. hehe nakakatuwa naman talaga sila.
• on sunday, neil and i are going to have our badminton match hehe. sa wakas tuloy na. and hopefully, i'll still have the energy for airsoft in the afternoon.

how's my week

• sunday, i went out with my boy buds. we decided to go to the mall of asia since jom, who just went home recently (he's now based in guam) , haven't seen the place. we watched the movie clover field (which i do not recommend for those with weak stomach because of its 'dizziness' effect) and ate at an italian resto which i forgot the name, and of course picture taking to the max. john, neil, reg, koy, jerin and i stayed a couple of hours more. we decided to eat at a fancy crepe resto overlooking the bay. then we headed for the baywalk for more picture taking.

halos kumpleto...

kami na lang ang natira



• the guys fetched me at my place in q.c. while at the car, koy bursted out his 'panghihinayang.' Quoting him: 'ikaw kase hawak mo na sa leeg si dryn pinakawalan mo pa. e di sana kasal nyo yung inattendan namin' hmmm... i didn't expect one of them felt (and see our friendship) that way. akala ko si mom lang nanghinayang e. ayun tuloy, what i all throughout our journey was explain my sideto them. promise i'm going to write another entry about this ish.



• mom was confined at the national kidney and transplant institute (NKTI) last monday. she had pelvolithotomy with cholecystectomy the following day. i was able to stay in the operating room throughout the whole procedure due to my mom's request which, im telling you was not a good experience... she's ok now. she's been walking around the room already and can go to the bathroom without a companion. she's going home on monday. thanks for the prayers!



• spending the nights at the hospital all week was like going on perpetual duty minus the never ending 'lakaran' that is. i was sleeping at the chair all week (so dabs can sleep on the sofa). My back really hurts! i miss my bed...



• my uncle whom we fondly called tata anseng died yesterday. he had liver cancer. it was just sad that it was barely a month since my uncle totong died (due to lung cancer). mom won't be able to be at the wake since my uncle's burial is tomorrow already. my the good Lord grant them eternal repose. i'll miss them...

Future agenda

• i've been gaining a lot of weight already and my tummy would testify to that. hehe. ive started wearing a velcro belt which i knew from med school doesnt really work. i still use it though to remind my self that i shouldn't give in to those yummy, mouth watering, eye popping indulgences...my favorite, my comfort foods.



• my diet plan was to do exercises like doing abs crunches and brisk walking to the q.c. circle, which is just near my place, or to the grocery. i also intend to do biking in the afternoon at the circle. neil already promised to play badminton with me during our free sundays. also, im going to try airsoft with my other boy buds which is a good form of stress release too.

my best friend's wedding part II

in tagaytay, we also had fun taking pictures. talaga naman game na game sa mga posing!

'tabihan nyo naman ako'

'hay john, sayang hindi natin makita ang lake.'

coffee toast. to our friendship from then until forever

si reggie at ang tissue

posing a la matrix by reg and neil

mga pare, san ba lakad natin? nakontak nyo na ba ang mga epektos? kelan ang deliver? (hehehe)

cute namin?

my new primary pic at friendster. kunyari stolen shot ito.

look at this house! it looks old but it's beautiful.

the bridesmaid and the best man

the couch

men in black

i love this pic! picture perfect

isa pa ulit!

may mini pond din sa sonya's. for nature lovers talaga

and off we go to the wedding

kasama ang anghel sa gilid ng simbahan

here comes the bridesmaid

church on the hill