today, i came across this:

To love is to be vulnerable. Love is the opening of the heart, the welcoming of your beloved. Loving is not secure, authentic loving is risky. Security lies behind the walls of a closed heart. You either invite the union by opening in love, or you secure the isolation by closing down.


ayaw talaga akong tantanan... haaayyyzzz





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did you know...

Dr. Romulo Virola, secretary-general of the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB), said that in the year 2000, less than half of the country's population (45.7%) were married. Back in the 80s, he said 50.6% of Filipinos have exchanged "I do's."

In 2008, only 50.7% of women aged 15 to 49 were married, down from 54.4% in 1993.

"Has love become more expensive, or is it because Pinoy men of earlier generations had stronger appeal than this Piolo Pascual or Gerald Anderson?" Virola said in his column at the NSCB website.

"Whatever, for those who are looking to tie yourselves with a knot, you know your prospects have gone higher, provided of course, that you are willing to marry anyone who is unmarried," he added.

Separation, live-in relationships

On the other hand, the number of Filipinos who have ended their marriage has increased.

In the year 2000, one out of every 100 Filipinos was separated from his or her partner.

In 2008, about 3 out of every 100 Filipino women aged 15 to 49 were separated from their partners, higher than 2 per hundred in 1993.

"Does this point to the gradual disintegration of the Pinoy family as an institution? To think that family life is the most important source of happiness for many Pinoys. How sad," Virola lamented.

Aside from separations, Virola also noted a rise in common-law relationships through the years.

In 2008, 11 out of 100 Filipino women aged 15 to 49 years old were living in with their partners from only 5 out of 100 back in 1993.

"Sign of the times? But don't you think the old-fashioned pamamanhikan or kasalan sounds romantic?" Virola said.

First marriage, birth

From 1993 to 2008, more Filipino women have decided to marry later as their median age at first marriage has gone up by a year.

Virola said most urban women got married at age 23 (from 22), while majority of those situated in the rural areas tied the knot at 21 years old (from 20).

Likewise, the median age at first birth has gone slightly up. Most urban women gave birth at 24 years old in 2008 (from 23), while rural women had their first child at 22 years old (from 21).

"But this is still very young by Commission of Population standards, I am sure. On the average, women in the rural areas marry at least one year earlier than women in urban areas," he said.

-LOVE BY NUMBERS, fast facts about Filipino relationships. whole article here.

afraid...

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bagong taon part 2 sa araw ng pag- ibig

few more days before the chinese new year. i still have time to reread my resolutions and add some other things that i wanted to accomplish for this year. woohoo. buti nalang may chinese new year. meron pa akong chance for adjustments. hehe. call it madaya. i don't care. i feel lucky having another new year celebration in february especially when my january didn't turn out so well. i literally felt a dagger in my chest while attending mass on january 1st, much like to an angina pectoris. don't worry. it's not health related and it's already a case solved.

is it also perfect timing that the new year will be celebrated on heart's day? hmmm that reminds me, this is the third year i am going to celebrate heart's day in my fabulous single blessedness state. well, i really don't mind coz the first year after my ex and i split up, i spent valentines with my boys. they gave me a surprise dinner date with them and got a bouquet of roses pa. hay. im really lucky to have friends like them. on the second year i spent the whole day studying for the boards but still was lucky to receive a rose from one of my guy pals. this year, i am not expecting anything. spending it this time with my family is enough for me. hindi naman exclusive for lovers ang balentayms.

love. pano na nga ba ang umibig? oi ang gandang title in fernez. i believe we all have a lesson or two learned about love. we also had our share of heartaches and joy in loving. at this age, lahat naman siguro tayo naranasan ng madapa at natuto na ding bumangon. naalala ko noong naghiwalay kami ng ex ko, nag-wish ako na sana yung susunod ko namang love story yung parang feel good movie naman. awat na ang heavy drama. sana yung mas maraming kilig moments at syempre, sana this time, yung may happy ending na. sa kabila ng lahat ng hindi magandang nangyari, naniniwala pa rin ako sa 'and they live happily ever after'. naniniwala pa din ako na meron talagang 'wagas na pag-ibig.'

minsan, naisipan kong balikan yung mga paborito kong feel good movies katulad nung mga movies ni JLC at sarah, JLC and bea. tapos, binalikan ko din yung mga heavy drama nina sharon-gabi at aga-lea. napansin ko lang, hindi naman nagkakalayo ang mga conflict sa istorya nila. hindi naman masyadong mababaw yung problema sa feel good movie at hindi rin naman kalaliman yung problema sa mga heavy drama. mas matitindi lang talaga ang mga dialogues sa heavy drama at syempre, sa feel good movie, nakasisigurado ka na may happy ending. naisip ko tuloy, siguro ganun lang din sa totoong buhay. pwede nating gawing heavy drama or feel good movie ang takbo ng istorya. pwede nating palakihin o paliitin ang isang isyu. sana pwede rin pumili ng happy ending.

at this age, ano na ba ang natutunan ko about relationship? sa tingin ko hindi naman masyadong marami kung ikukumpara sa mga kaibigan ko. isa pa, i always felt that i was outgrown by my friends. isa ako sa mga kakaunting natitira na single pa rin hanggang ngayon. pero ganun naman talaga pag nasa ganito kang propesyon. parang kang late bloomer. hindi ko pa naranasan na iisang tao lang ang nakikita ko bago ako matulog at pag- gising ko sa umaga. hindi ko din alam kung ano ang pakiramdam maghintay sa gabi na umuwi yung taong mahal mo. hanggang ngayon, naririnig ko lang sila. lahat ng alam ko, base lang sa kwento ng ibang tao tungkol sa mga problema nila sa relasyon at pagpapamilya.

noong bata pa ako, akala ko pag nakita mo na yung taong mamahalin mo at minahal ka din nya, yun na yung end ng story. tapos nung nakipagrelasyon na ako, na-realize ko na hindi pala ganun. para palang makina ang isang relasyon. laging kelangan langisan at i- tune up para tumagal. na- realize ko din na hindi lang pala basta masaya ako, okey na. hindi lang pala tungkol sa kin ang isang relasyon. kelangan din pala ng sakripisyo para sa minamahal mo. a relationship is a compromise and always a work in progress. and just like other things in life, you can't ask for fruits you didn't sow.

sa love, meron akong konting important lessons na natutunan. one is never say never. nakaranas ka na ba ng sitwasyon na parang paulit ulit na nangyayari sa buhay mo? yun parang pakiramdam mo, ayaw kang tantanan? ako may isa. nung una parang nakakainis isipin. sarap mag reklamo ng bakit palagi nalang ako. umiwas nung pangalawang beses, thinking, natuto na kase ako kaya 'never again!'. but then i realized, hindi naman pagkatuto ang pag- iwas. and not because i allowed it to happen again means that i didn't learn. baka naman kaya nauulit para mabigyan ako ng chance na baguhin ko naman yung takbo ng istorya. yung gawin ko naman yung hindi ko nagawa noon para maimprove yung outcome.

siguro more than hoping to be found, we must learn to keep our hearts open to the possibility. we all wish for forever but we don't even want to take that step of putting our hearts on the line. i don't know if it is better to live a life alone, assured that nobody can hurt you than to take the risk of loving and feel being loved in return. i didn't wish to be alone my entire life. i still have that faith that i won't be left empty handed. again and again, i will put my heart on the line. yes, it might hurt but at least i have that chance to love and be loved and belong to a relationship that may last for a lifetime.




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another northern star?

pahabol ito sa araw ng three kings.




i can't recall if i have heard this song already but it really touched my heart hearing it now...




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