day dreaming....grrrr

I’ve been staring at my book for 10 minutes now and I’ve realized I haven’t read anything or have understood a single word that my eyes have passed on. My mind seems to be somewhere beyond the walls of this room.

Yesterday, I was in the OPD with a friend. Somehow, I had a glimpse of my future. The thought made me anxious though. I never wanted the kind of life that I have seen. And with every chance, I knew I will try to escape from it. But the decision I have made doesn’t give me much of the chance. I’m afraid I only led myself more to the abyss. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not about being a doctor. It’s about going into the real world. I guess I will never become ready to plunge into it.

I have been dreaming of going to a far off place to ponder on things. Life here has not been so kind to render solitude. Maybe there I can find a stranger to talk to. It’s easier to think that I have shared my thoughts to someone who is not a part of my life and to know that at the end of the day, I will never see him again. And i hope my anxiety will go as i watch him leave.