hay mama!

bumaba ako kanina para mag- saing. tamang- tama, andun si mami.ewan ko kung anong nangyari at all of a sudden naging issue ang pagiging unattached ko. hay, hindi ako sanay ha. you know naman, she's not the type of mom na ok lang i- open ang lovelife. kakaloka talaga. dapat daw i should entertain suitors at maganda daw kung ngayon pa lang may steady boyfriend na ko dahil baka malipasan ako ng panahon. aray ko! ano ba yan?! natawa na lang ako. akala nya siguro virginal beauty pa ako pagdating sa pakikipag- relasyon. kung alam lang nya ang nakaraan hahaha! sugurado ako, hindi sya sasang- ayon. hehehe.

maya- maya, hindi pa nakuntento. there goes the name dropping. tinatanong ako about aldryn. she said, he seems to be a good guy, wala akong iintindihin kase stable, maganda ang work, mabait naman...(naku, at nakakuha ng abogado ang loko) at dinugtungan ko ng '...binasted ko na yun.' hay nako, i had my reasons for turning him down and those are really good reasons.na- turn off na ko sa kanya. a basta. for now, ayaw. shoo. tsupi! hehehe.

ano ba ito?! siguro iniisip ni mommy na nagmumukha na kong mongha. lagi na lang kase akong nandito sa bahay. hay, kung kelan pa naman na-realize ko na mas mabuti kung wag na lang muna ako sumabak sa ganyang mga bagay.

don't worry mom, darating din ako dyan. hinay- hinay lang muna, mahina ang kalaban. hehehe

to the stars... with difficulty

Yesterday was my enrollment. There was a feeling of elation and sense of pride as I went to the registrar window and asked for the C.O.M. for third year. Hay, sa wakas!

It's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I once stumbled and fall. I reckon the hardship I have faced as I retraced my footsteps. The self- struggle and self- pity that I have went through. The days that though seems to be endless, I still believed with my heart and soul that this too shall come to pass like all the other temporary defeat that I've been through.

Looking back, I have realized there are things you appreciate more after rediscovering them. There are things that become more meaningful when you grasp it again after slipping from your fingers.

Medicine is surely the hardest climb I ever have so far. Now that I have regained my footing, I know that the climb will be tougher and steeper as I continue to reach the peak. I just pray that I won't stumble and fall once again. ^__^ I guess now, after all that I've been through, I will always be on guard carefully planting my next steps. ^__^

Yes, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' and it also makes you wiser and better.

dreams, decision, isolation... loneliness

There comes a time in a person's life that he must make a decision for himself. It's a part of maturing that one day, you realized that you are tired of drifting where the tides take you and finally take the courage to swim in a different direction.

Some things are easier said than done. When everything is planned in your mind, thinking that all the steps seems plausible, somehow it gives you a sense of assurance that everything will run smoothly. And as one by one you are taking the steps towards your goal, you discern the things that you have compromised. It's sad when you realize your decision somehow also leads you to isolation.

Looking back at the reasons, I knew without hesitation that I have made the right decision. And I'm aware that there are things that need to be sacrificed for now. But somehow at one point or another they affect me. It's only human to feel alone and question 'why' but faith makes this human stronger and determined enough to refuse retreat.

I'm thankful that somehow, i don't feel alone anymore. It's comforting to know that there's someone i know who is also under the same circumstance. When it feels weary, it's nice to know that you have somebody that you can talk to and exchange notes on how you've been coping up. Somehow, it's easier to look at the brighter side of things. it's easier to tell yourself that what you have now is just ephemeral and time will come that you don't have deny yourself of companionship.

Maraming salamat, Papsi. For making me feel that I'm not alone. Hay, one day the two of us will reap the fruits of our labor. Just as what Barang said in one of her songs:

"There's a place for us/ Somewhere a place for us... There's a time for
us/Someday a time for us... with time to spare /Time to learn, time
to care...Someday, somewhere"

Pero hindi Paps eh.... kulang ang tenk yu... kulang ang i lab yu.... hehehe. naalala ko lang...

what happened to my list?!

hehe. i totally forgot. (you see, i'm THAT lost. hehehe) :) actually i was planning to do them next week. after i've accomplished all my business here in school.

i wasn't feeling well yesterday. all those sneezing and itchiness makes me really upset. i planned to start sorting out my handouts but then i was afraid it'll get dusty and further aggravate my irritated condition. allergic rhinitis is nature's way of telling me it's christmas time once again.

i saw the list of students who'll be having their removals in medicine. there's one hundred eight of them. o-oh... i wonder how much more next semester's life would scare me out.

i passed lab dx. thanks to God!

huh!? pffffftt!

it's been two hours that i've been staring at the computer avoiding the site feed button on every blogspot that i visited. i felt there's nothing to write about until this very moment, it dawned on me. i hate my current state. i feel lost. i mean, don't you just hate it when you've been busy for the longest time and suddenly you just have nothing to do. i know it may sound weird for those people who would enjoy studyless schooless days spending it sitting around doing nothing. yeah it's weird. i'm weird. maybe what i'm feeling is just some sort of a 'jet lag.' it will dawn on me soon.

i'm here in school's internet cafe. waiting for lab dx's final grade result. thinking what to do when i got home afterwards.

'bawal yan!'

The title is a personal joke between the goddess and me (and also a reminder for us). totally walang kinalaman for this entry. sorry papsi, next time na namin ikukwento sa yo Thank you for IMBESTIGADOR for being an eye- opener.

Bakasyon na! Examination week is over! Though I still have to spend a week in school to check my grades, do our research and other stuffs, I can already feel the relaxing air of vacation. Hmmm… finally. I can watch all the t.v. shows that I wanted, read books and magazines not related to medicine and just lie down maybe think on what to do next or just simply drift off to dreamland. But before I plunge in to slothfulness, I have made a list of things that I must do. And may I just remind myself that it's not optional but a M-U-S-T because the next four weeks will be the last vacation that I will have (hopefully… crossing my fingers) as a med student and the last chance I have to do all those things.

So what does the high priestess must accomplish?

• Clean my library. Its time to dispose all those trash that I have accumulated for the whole semester, which I'm sure, is a lot. Compile all my handouts. Segregate the handouts given to me by Ate Glo who's already a clerk now. I tell you, seeing that big plastic bag full of papers makes me feel nervous about next semester. Its like screaming to me that I will surely have A LOT to read. Btw, the handouts were only for pedia and O.B. hay nako, maloloka ako.

• Bedroom make over. Since I won't have much time to spend to clean my room, I thought of getting rid of those things that are unnecessary and accumulate a lot of dirt. That way, it would be a lot easier for me to clean it later on. Sorry, but that means all those hairy stuffs must go. I'm planning to give the stuff toys to charity for Christmas. And please, if someone reading this thought of giving me a stuff toy, I would gladly appreciate it if you change it to something else. No hairy stuff, ok? :D

• Clean the house. Time for general cleaning.

• Gardening. Now, that's something I will truly enjoy and surely miss. I also need a lot of things to do there so maybe I'll spend a week soiling my gloves. I just hope it won't rain that much.

i hope i passed everything. ^_^

Whoohoooo!

I got home early today. I'm exempted in medical parasitology final exam! That means I don't have a grade lower than 90 %. Hehe. Oh, how I love the feeling whenever I reply to the laboratory technicians in parasitology and my medtech classmates, 'no, I'm not a med tech.' For a med tech to be exempted in Para is already expected since that is considered as one of their 'forte.' But for a Biologist to top the Para class is something! Well, akala lang nila yun coz I took Para in college too (though I must say, there's a difference betweeen Para in medicine and in college. Med is more focused on the disease entity caused by the parasites and their diagnosis while Bio is more on the parasites' morphology and life stages). I guess only me and my fellow PLMayers knew that coz I've learned that not all BS Biology has parasitology in their curriculum, like Ateneo. But still, the best joy is coming home to tell my dad the good news and seeing a big smile on his face afterwards.