Doulos

tomorrow could have been a very important date for me. just can't help but remenisce the day it all started. this song reminded me of it...

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in september
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

it's funny how a single song described it all, like it was written based on my experience.
yes, even the month was the same.... it was sweet september.

Hope for the Flowers

I'm like the catterpillar in the story i have so loved in college. like him, i have fought to get on top of the pillar and like him i was kicked off and fell on the ground just before i reached the top.

it was sad at first but then i've realized being on the race isn't the name of the game. i left the pillar but i know one day i'll be up there too. . . someday when i have developed my wings.

going nowhere

all this time i've been running.... and now, i don't know where i am. i guess this depression is getting the best of me.. it has affected my loved ones too. ive been thinking of getting professional help. i can't anymore sleep because of the nightmares. they just seem wont stop. crying doesn't relieve anything anymore. if somebody can just hold me tight enough that i can't anymore let go and run again... to the one i have hurted so much, sorry. i'm just too broken. i dont anymore know how can i help myself.

the only truth that i know about me is the fear that i have been hiding... that one day everything that i have in my hands will slip away... and yes, it seems that fear is coming true. tomorrow what will be next... i do not know... i'm becoming more of an observer of my own life. i wish the world will stop turning for a moment... i need to breathe... but then i realized i lost my air.

sana, heaven will grant my final wish....