heto na naman..

mid career crisis to the highest level na naman ito. naguguluhan na naman ako. hay naku. ano ba talaga??? ay- em or peedia? dito or sa labas? alin alin alin ang naiba?

peedia vs ay-em

peedia: lahat nalang sila go peedia. sabi pa ng isa kong ka- berks 'i think you will do well with kids'
trulilee??

ay- em: sa lahat ng med books ko, eto ang pinakamarami. ibig kayang sabihin nito may sekretong pagtingin (parang crush lang) ako sa ay-em dati pa kaya gusto ko bumili ng kung anu- anong book ng ay-em at hindi ko lang sya napapansin?


hmmmmmm..... at isa pang hmmmmmm...





>>

have you seen the new mac?

when i first got a mac laptop not so long ago, i was like introduced into a new lifestyle and it's an addictive one. mac offers a new way of life and a better one. in mac world, it's virus free, battery life is longer, and it's more user friendly (o-oh hope i wont get a raised eyebrow for that. but it truly is more user friendly to me having used microsoft for so long and had it crash over and over on me while im in the middle of a deadline and an upcoming report. hayrettt!). plus the white exterior looks chic. that comes from someone who adores the absence of hues (aside from pink).

now, they have officially launched a new tablet, the iPad. it's adorable and it's not that pricey considering it is a mac (price starts at 499USD). i dont know if i will buy one (but if someone's gonna give me one for free i would gladly accept it heehee). i think i will wait until i have seen the reviews when it comes out in april. but just this instant, i have my comments/questions regarding this new gadget.

1. my essentials:

bluetooth? check
usb and card reader? check (is that via dock connector?)
battery life? 10h --check
dvd/cd player? nun hmmmmm.....
web cam? nun hmmmmmm.....
light weight? check (1.5lbs wifi, 1.6lbs wifi+3g model)


2. i dont know if the touch screen is long nails- friendly. is it scratch proof? well i don't grow my nails long because i'm afraid to scratch frail bodies accidentally with it. but i would just like to know that so ill know who i won't let to borrow it hehe (just in case im going to have one).

3. i so heart the iBook app. i can imagine reading my multi-volume books with this thing so light. plus, it lets me carry a whole library with me without breaking my back and damaging my bag (dies). i can carry a chic bag at any coffee shop or around the hosp and still have all the books within my reach. i can also read while listening to itunes or while searching for a journal in the net. a lot of possibilities there. also, it looks eye- friendly coz it's bigger than the ipod touch hence it can display bigger fonts.

hmmm... now have to make magic so i can have moolah to buy this. ugh. that reminds me im still saving up for a micro four thirds. hayay. i so wish im rich.

hello, iPad!

photo from CNET reviews

watch it on mac store.




>>

horo is cope for da day

You may be going through a period, Pisces, where you wonder if you will ever really find The One, and this is causing some intense reflection for you. This is a good thing as it seems that some honest conversation with yourself is exactly what you need right now. You have tried many different means of meeting your emotional and romantic needs, but nothing of late really seems to fit that well for you, does it? It could be that you are not paying enough attention to the messages the universe has been sending you. Once again you have been avoiding a serious romantic possibility, and allowed your head to dominate your heart in this case. This is a time where it is time to throw logic out the window and just go where your heart leads, it is not too late, despite any signs that you may feel otherwise.

bakit ganun ang mga horo is cope, kung minsan tumatama? hindi ako believer pero minsan, just for fun, binabasa ko din yung akin. napakadali pa naman nito gawin sa FB. 1 click lang at mababasa mo na.

ikaw, ano yung sayo? tumama din ba?




>>

life is...

like a box of chocolates, they say. pero kung ganito naman ang chocolates, pwedeng pwede na.




i am a self confessed addict of ferrero, specially the rocher and rondnoir.

ferrero is actually an italian confectionary. their products were first sold in italy and other european countries in the 40's and later spread to other parts of the globe. the company is also the maker of tictac, nutella, and kinder (i love kinder!).

rocher is el más famoso among the ferrero collection. the rich chocolate coated hazelnut has enchanted tongues of many including this princess. but if i were to choose among the three-rocher, rondnoir, and garden, ill pick rondnoir as my best love.

rondnoir is a 'pearl' of dark chocolate, surrounded by a dark chocolate cream, encased in a croquante and encrusted with dark chocolate chips. and because i love dark chocolate, this is the one for me. i wish they will sell rondnoir here separately just like rocher.

haaay. sira na naman ang diet.

>>

reunited

something good happened today. my long "battle" with Ishtar has finally came to an end.

Sya ang salarin sa eye bags ko dati. hindi ko sya jowa but she is more than a friend because she is like a sister to me.

to love or to hate. to befriend or to let go. to fight or to forgive. to learn or to regret. to bridge the gap or to break ties. to move forward or to look back. life has so many choices. so many possibilities. so many things to consider. as we get older, the simple things aren't that simple anymore... or so it seems. but then again, it all boils down to choices. at the end of the day, it's the choices that we make that matters. because those that we choose can change our lives forever.



>>

TGI Friday and Saturday

all burned out from the passing week, two of my boy buds, N and R, and I decided to meet Friday night and have dinner in the mall. it was already 8pm when N and I met in the northern end of QC. we were really running late but i was glad we made it to shang before 9pm. N is able to drive that fast in the city already. hehe. R was not able to make it to the dinner though. he was still at work until 9.30pm, attention Selecta!!! its that late awready!? N and I ate at pepper lunch and decided to join the HP contest just for fun. I loved the photo he took of me. sad that i don't think we'll win because the picture was printed out in sepia coz the printer is already running out of ink. kamusta naman yun. but it's okay. after all, we were there to eat and have a good time. and having choco lava cake and ice cream is a bliss already. we met R after and decided to have a midnight snack (for us but dinner for R) in a lugawan sa kanto. sarap ng lugaw na yun. hehe.

its always fun going out with my boy buds. we talk anything under the sun, laugh our hearts out at anything funny or not, hang out even in simple places and still have fun. they also give the best advice in the world although you got to be strong to take them coz they will just say it flat. no sugar coating. no pasakalye. i guess that is the ultimate proof of my being one of the boys. i can take their advices in a constructive way and not get hurt even if they are displeasing to the ear.

the three of us. it was the second time i wore my yellow pointed flats.

saturday, i went to rizal with mom and aunt to attend a surprise birthday party for my cousin. she turned 57 this year. yup, my cuz is that old already (but for the record, she's not the oldest among all my cuz). it was held in a small farm-resort. i decided to stay in the mango trees and lie in a hammock while they were having fun inside singing their hearts out in the videoke. i was also able to meet my pamangin sa pinsan, C who is going to apply for fellowship (yup he is definitely older than me) this year in the same hospital that i wanted to get in. he did a good job explaining to mom the highs and lows of being a doc. thanks, C.

me reading while lying in a hammock and enjoying the fresh air. lahvet!

we left at 5pm to attend another birthday party, this time in the upscale wack wack village. Ninang E's mother in law celebrated her 85th birthday. we were in awe when we arrived in their 6000 sq.m land which have, apart from their mansion home, its own veranda enclosed in glass (and fully airconditioned) which can hold as many as 10 big tables for 50 guests. we were told it's going to be a simple dinner with family and close friends but there we were, eating dinner with an orchestra playing at the background (which I later learned were Bernie Pasamba's group. His string ensemble were former members of the Manila Chamber Orchestra).

mother, as she is fondly called, has a rag to riches life story. she was a former basurera pushing her kariton in the streets of Clark with her children. her first business venture was buying ukay- ukay clothes per kilo and reselling them. then she moved into buying surplus home appliances from the port to sell them in manila. from there, they were able to buy land in our province and in the later years developed it to a subdivision (Pleasant Hills). mother has always been business minded and never afraid of doing business ventures. mom told me that mother remained to be simple despite her riches. she recalls, they always see each other in our town's palengke and buy recados together. she's still fond of going to divisoria and eat in the local carinderia. they also have this running joke in the family that they say went from plaka to casette tape, to cd to dvd- they always answer "walang pera" when asked by people. haha. ang kuripot pala ni mother.

ninang E is the one in red. she has 8 children who are all grown up and she has apos already. but she's still pretty and sexy, di ba? i wish i will be like her in my older years.

>>

2k and counting

yay! my stats reached 2000 today. aw how i wish im rich to give away a prize for the lucky 2000th viewer. but hey, thank you all for visiting my chamber once in a while ha. reactions, comments, advices are very much welcome here.

it's been six years of blogging already. as i recall i made this blog for the wrong reason, i just wanted an outlet to vent out my anger to my past relasyon and join the hype of having an online diary. but this chamber (as i fondly call it now) has evolved over the years. and it will stay as long as i have the time and energy to go online and write my story.

thanks once again. aylahvet!




>>

mom's bathroom

yup. renovation is done. finally, pagkalipas ng maalikabok na mga linggo, heto na ang resulta.




the bathroom is smaller than the one we used to have before but for me it fits just right for the job. toilet and sink we got on sale.



shower room divider is a brown fiberglass with bamboo design.



bathroom door has an artsy plant design. those tile pattern gives one a feeling of bathing in sunshine. can you see my camera? yup, im not a dslr user. just a small point and shoot for this princess. and i hate the noise i had in my photos arrgghh.


this used to be the old bathroom now converted into an adjacent room which houses this full length mirror, the old lavatory and a cabinet for the towels and bathroom supplies. the door to the bathroom can be seen through the mirror. the tiles for the floor look like bricks which added to the 'outdoor feel'.




this lavatory is the only one that's left from the old bathroom and the marmol wall too. the wall reminds me of our native 'batalan.'

backdrop aint wood but art. the white wall was painted by our neighbor and gave it a 'woody effect'. these three vases i bought from sm department store in megamall for less than 500Php.


... while this tiny oil defuser cost me more. sigh.

see more pictures of our new bathroom in my flickr.




>>

another northern star?

pahabol ito sa araw ng three kings.




i can't recall if i have heard this song already but it really touched my heart hearing it now...




>>

thanks for the eyebags part II

last night was another night of heartache (and puyat!!!) for me but minus the tears and sky rocketing anger. after a long sigh (now sighs are becoming therapeutic) i have realized that even in my anger, a powerful hand was there that guided me that i was able to do what i have to do (or it should have been what i had to say). thanks, bro. it is true that the only people who can hurt us are the ones we love. and sometimes, we are just as guilty, hurting them knowingly or unknowingly.

but even if we were hurt, we cried, we bleed, we got mad, at the end of the day, it is still the love we have for that person that lingers. and i am just as amazed that through it all, i am still able to return love. i could have just walked away (much easier) or kill that person with my words (haha if words can kill).

there was this card that was given to me 10 years ago that said, 'when troubles seem too heavy, fly like a bird high into the sky and see how small the earth becomes.' there could be a lot of interpretation to that. but for me, it's looking at the problem from a different perspective (and not running away from it). when we are ruled by strong emotion, we tend to focus on that one aspect that hurt us. we tend to gravitate more towards it. rising to a higher ground, makes us see that what we are looking at is just a part of a bigger picture. and when we are able to see what that picture is all about, we come to understand. and the hurt and anger we have were appeased.

having mentioned strong emotions, i remember one of my favorite saints, Ignatius de Loyola. he wrote the Rules of Discernment, an autobiographical masterpiece but with a universal application. one of the lessons was, we should not make a decision whenever we are governed by a strong emotion (too much joy, anger, sadness, or fear) because that decision tends to be the work of a devil. learning this is really a challenge. how easy is shutting up whenever we are very angry? how many couples break up in the middle of a fight? how many people take their own life because of too much anxiety? how many girls lose their virginity because of too much joy (haha. sorry, had to say something ishtar-ish)? so whenever we are at the height of our emotions, don't act first. remember to pause, reflect, and pray.

there's this one story that our parish priest related in one of his homily which is like eons ago (i really like the story that's why i remembered). its about two best of friends. time came when one of them was about to get married. when they were in the church, the bride stood at the back ready to walk down the aisle when her best friend came running towards her and slapped her. and then the commotion begun. the girl who slapped her best friend was immediately thrown out of the church and was condemned for life for ruining the most important occasion in her best friend's life (now i am laughing remembering that story. honga no, what a coincidence). one day, the priest saw the girl in the church praying. remembering what happened, the priest went to the girl and asked, 'why did you do that to your friend? aren't you suppose to be the first one who should be happy for her? why did you slap her on the most special day of her life?' the girl looked up to the priest and said, 'father, kase po may malaking lamok na nakadapo sa pisngi nya. ayoko po sana sya makagat kaya nagawa ko yun.' now i know why it became a favorite. coz it made me laugh hard when i heard the ending.

an act is an act. we can take it in different ways, give a hundred interpretation to it. run our lives around it depending on how we see it. but again, an act is just an act. without intention, it is lifeless, meaningless, amoral. maybe instead of scrutinizing the act, we should dig into what the intention was. motives are the driving force of our actions.

i hope my last installment will be the last in this growing 'word war' in our inbox (--or so it seems. hihi. coz more than you know or it seems like, it was designed to convey an important lesson. ;D). can i tell you a secret? here it goes: i have not given up. coz love doesn't just give up.

i hope we all have a beautiful day ahead.



>>

christmas is over!

i really wonder why the best is always reserved for last. yesterday marked the end of the christmas season. it is also when i got the most important lesson i have yet to hear.

yesterday, since i woke up early, i planned to hear mass at 9am. our church wasn't really far from my house. it only takes a 5 minute walk. but since i did a little chitchat with mom before i left, i didn't realized i was already running late. the priest was already in his homily when i arrived. so ok, since im late already, i decided to do my errands first and attend the next hour mass instead.

10 am, i was lucky to get a good seat near the garden. while listening to the homily, i was amused. ikaw ba yan, Lord? para sa kin ba tong message na to? in his homily, the priest said that in life, it was not how well or how fast we moved that matters, its how many times we have paused. then it all dawned on me. now i understood why these all happened. why i got sick and then having to give up my job(s), not been able to get into residency, and not been able to reach my ultimate dream to live on my own. i remember how i described my life- me in a car running 250mph then suddenly put into a halt just as when i can almost reached my goal. i had long dreamed of that moment when i can finally be free from the school and start making my dreams come true. but then it all happened. i didn't blame God for it. what i felt was more of frustration than anger. i realized now, i forgot that two essential things, pause and reflect. i was too eager to do everything at once not realizing what God's plan was for me. had i not paused will i know where i am going?

father Ino also said that we are all like the three wise men following a star. imagine, those wise men came from different parts of the world but their paths crossed because they were after all, following only one star. in a night sky filled with stars, we have to choose that one star we must follow throughout our lives. picking which star among all the glittery ones is the hardest. it's no different from choosing a career, a residency program, or a lifetime partner with the knowledge that once a choice was made, you have to stand by it for better or worse. but again in order to do this we must first pause, think, reflect and most importantly, pray. in the end, it doesnt matter how fast we get there. what matters is that we made the right choice and followed the right path.






>>

thanks for the eyebags

oh come on, was it really what i said or was it something you ASSUMED that i said (or the meaning you put into my words) that ruined your day?

i am not thanking you for the eyebags, it was my choice to stay up late and dwell in my anger. nothing can affect me unless i allowed it. my anger did the eyebags.

now i choose to have a beautiful morning.




>>

my own unofficial cake review

i admit i am hard to please when it comes to cake. i love cake and ice cream and chocolates too. and when it comes to these three, i am always in pursuit of the finest, most delectable, and heavenly taste there is. i remember having traveled to los banos a couple of times in college just to have a slice of their chocolate cake. mind you, it was not even sold in some fancy restaurant there nor even in a bakeshop. it was in that little glass canteen in IRRI where my friends and i (accidentally) found that delicious cake.

since it's the yuletide season, i was again challenged to put something new on the table. on christmas, i bought almond choco sansrival from conti's. i developed a relationship with conti's a few years ago when a friend gave me and my housemates a mango bravo cake as a gift. i liked the variety of bread and nuts in it and so that year, i brought home a mango bravo for christmas and my family loved it. since then, whenever a special occasion comes, they always ask me to buy a cake from conti's. we've tasted almost all of their classic cakes. the almond choco sansrival were one of the new ones. i served it with a scoop of very strawberry ice cream from selecta for dessert. mom and my sisters loved it (dad and my brother love anything sweet). for me, the combination was perfect. the cake was not chocolatey as i assumed. the chocolate was spread thinly in between layers. the nougaty sansrival was chewy but not overly sweet and the almonds and cashew were plenteous. the strawberry ice cream complimented it well.

for the new year, i went all the way to Times street to order a mango torte from dulcelin. i was drawn to try it because of the many good reviews i have read. one of those even branded it as the best mango torte in manila, selling 2,000+ box every christmas season. that was impressive considering it was only a home based business. for me, the taste was ok, though something i will not rave about. it reminded me of the mango ref cake i usually make back then when the graham crackers were a hit, well, minus the graham of course. its base was interesting having that crumbly sweet nutty texture which i later found out was a cashew-based nougatine (thanks to the reviews again). i partnered it with a scoop of selecta's chocolate truffles. i must admit the combination was a disaster. it was too sweet.

sad that i didn't have pictures of the cakes. i got lazy to get a camera hihi.

i already made plans for my next stop. it will be that cake store which i won't name yet here (secret muna) located in greenbelt 5 which, according to the review, sells one of the best chocolate cake in the metro. that i really can't wait to try.




>>

one batch. one decade. one great reunion

i was there. half an hour before the party was over. on that day, i was out from work at 7pm, my best buds, D and K, arrived at my house at 9pm then we waited some more somewhere in q.c. for R (we fondly call her first lady now). it's been a while since we saw our dear friend FL (first lady) and i was happy to be her passenger on our way to the venue (the two boys were in another car). we may not have been the best of friends in hs but our ties were drawn closer being the only two female in a group of 12. yes, im not their only princess as what it usually appears like. its just that im here and FL now lives in zambales with her dear hubby and daughter.

i had no plans of attending that reunion. even JB's persuasiveness didn't affect me . maybe because i had more bad memories then being one of the most bullied girl in the batch. i would even believe i could pass as the most hated girl in HS not because i was the most wicked cruelest person but because i didn't befriend those "uptown girls". i was happy to be simple. i didn't even care if i own nothing branded. we weren't rich to begin with and i wouldn't, for the life of me, ask mom to buy me a bag or a pair of shoes that will cost a thousand bucks just to show off. that annoying group wouldn't have noticed my existence if only the most famous and sort of influential person in the batch didn't have a crush on me and a rich girl (she was really rich and not just pretending to be one) didn't make me her best friend. maybe what even made the matter worse was that i was not really that accommodating back then. my shyness was mistaken as kasungitan. i was too shy to mingle. i was even scared of my own voice. (that is why i braved to join theater to overcome that shyness and eventually became a core group officer of that organization in my senior year which i also believe added more fire to their anger). so i spent my high school being the object of their hatred. i bet someone got to hate me first before she get accepted in their group. i was just happy that the few friends i had then stayed by my side and that they saw that im not really a bad person and i didn't deserve to be treated that way. i have to say i even enjoyed college more. i had freedom in college and i learned more about the realities of life then. so upto the last minute my decision was to stay home and forget all about the reunion. But i guess i was bound to be there. by some twist of fate, someone gave me her ticket for free and on the last minute, someone offered me a ride (my driver was not really on a vacation. i just made it up coz i really didn't want to go). it was nice having seen those familiar faces again after a decade of not seeing each other. a lot have changed now. i didn't feel the division anymore. everybody was happy to mingle and take pictures with each other. the party didn't even end there. we went to pasig for an after party. i got home at 5am (my latest ever).

i love the slogan of our reunion: one batch. one decade. one grand party.









MCS high school class '99 reunion
the legend villas, mandaluyong city
december 30, 2009

after party:
Metrowalk, Pasig City





>>

make way for the perfect 10

goodbye 2009, hello 2010! the past year had been full of drama. it started with a bang and ended with an unexpected twist. nonetheless, 2009 had given me a lot of lessons and some of the most important milestones in my life.

i hope 2010 will be a better year not just for me but also for my loved ones. i do hope that i carry with me the lessons i got from the past year.

these are my plans, wishes and resolution for this year:

> get myself into residency

> live on my own

> wish my ASO will be normal and my immune system strengthen.

> no more RF flare this year!

> hope ties will be strengthened, gap will be filled, and learn to forgive and forget.

> hear mass more often.

> pray the rosary everyday

> less FB and more bonding time with friends

> read more

> exercise often

> eat less (awww....) and eat healthy

> make a monthly budget and stick with it

> resurrect the pamper-me-day

> continue to blog often. it really helps when you read yourself =) very therapeutic

> wake up early

> speak up more but with caution

> discover new places

> learn new crafts

> organize my e- files


these were the important lessons i learned the past year:

> live within your means and within your seams

> conserve energy

> never give up

> use plastic prudently

> recycle

> shut up when you have nothing good to say (this was very challenging)

> patience (i am getting along with this virtue pretty well. woohoo!)

> embrace change

> generosity, humility and compassion.

> learning to trust that there is a perfect time for everything

> health is wealth

> that life is a bore if things keep going your way.

> pag gusto may paraan. pag ayaw maraming dahilan. (parang kanta lang)

> listen more than talk more

> No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

> breeding can't be acquired in school nor can be brought by gold.

> life won't go exactly how you planned it. giving up is not the answer to this but rather becoming more flexible.



>>