break free

a few weeks back, i made an important decision. i scrapped off the rule i made about friendship and love. no more rules. i'm a free girl now.

this is what maturity can do. hay. but i feel happy with it. learning and re- learning things. trying something new. living life to the fullest.

well i guess, i can say this now- i will be happy to end up with a friend... but if it doesn't happen then at least i gave it a chance.




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again

they say 'when it rains, it pours.'

again, why does it have to me?




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miss independent

yezzz. panalo ang title ng entry na ito. naalala ko since nung bata pa ako, pag tinatanong ako kung ano gusto ko maging, ang sinasagot ko ay 'to become independent.' somehow ngayon nangyayari na yun. hindi man 'totally' independent pero at least sa maraming bagay ako na mismo nagdedesisyon para sa sarili ko.

kanina, pumunta ako ng mall. kahapon ko pa balak pumunta dun. gusto ko sana lumabas at mag- enjoy bago ako magmongha ulit. kailangan na kase mag aral para sa exam.

and so kanina andun ako sa mall mag- isa. nanood ng G.I. Joe at nag window shopping. naghahanap ng makakainan. wala naman akong nakitang resto na may 'acquired taste' akong ma- eexperince. kaya ending e sa bahay kumain.

habang naglalakad sa mall, naisip ko pa din yung mga realization ko kagabi tungkol sa madaming bagay sa buhay ko. lalo na ang love life kong hindi na ulit nag- bloom ng bonggang bongga simula nung nagbreak kami ni 'artagnan' happy ako at nangyari ang realization na yun. at least ngayon hindi na ko magtataka/ magtatanong kung bakit hanggang ngayon mag-isa pa din ako. anyway, kaya nga ako andun sa mall kanina para ilabas ang sarili ko at gumawa ng mga bagay- bagay na ako lang. i was amused to look at the expression of people i come across with. nakakatuwang isipin na wala sa kanilang nakakakilala sa akin. gusto ko ipaalala sa sarili ko na may advantage din ang pag- iisa. na may sense of fulfillment din naman kahit mag- isa.

i wanted to celebrate my freedom while i can. i just want to live for this moment and not to think what tomorrow may bring.

well, i got what i want today coz i had fun.





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one true love

konti na lang at maniniwala na ako na ang para sa akin ay hindi ko matatagpuan sa lugar na ito.
or... hindi NYA ako matatagpuan dito.

hay...

- buntong hininga ng isang bigo ngunit umaasa pa din na isang araw ay matatagpuan din ang batang paslit na ito.




flashback....

HELMET

akala ko sya na pero pag lingon ko, bigla akong nauntog. nasira ang helmet na nakasuot na pala sa ulo ko. akala ko matibay. magpapasalamat ba ako sa isang panaginip na hindi pa man nakapagsisimula ay natapos na agad?

oo.

mas maganda na ito kaysa magising kung kailan nasa kalagitnaan na ng isang magandang panaginip. paniguradong mas masakit 'yon.

hindi na siguro mabubuo ulit ang helmet...

tapos na ang kabanatang ito.

tomorrow, it's time to move on.





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a reminder

just got this from my friend's blog whom she got from another friend's blog.
i just want to repost it here so i'll alwas be reminded.

Principles of Success:

1. Wherever you are, be there. - the power of FOCUS
2. Whatever you are looking for, you will find it. - the power of PERSPECTIVE
3. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. - the power of CONFIDENCE
4. Whatever you work on, you become. - the power of FORMATION
5. Whoever you admire, you copy. - the power of MENTORSHIP

im gonna start reviewing SERIOUSLY this week. reading this will surely help.

go go go!!!


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of love and friendship

since the beginning i have always chosen friendship over love. i didn't have regrets in doing it coz i believe i make the right choice every time. i believe, in friendship i can have that someone forever. in friendship no hearts could be hurt.

and now, those beliefs are challenged again. i am bothered coz this is one of those few times i ask my self, is it now time to reconsider? is it now the time to choose love over friendship?

confusion sets in.

how much time do i have left to think this over? how long will it take before you arrive?

for the longest time i have been the keeper of friendship. of peace. i have stood still. my heart was kept strong with the years of many challenges it faced and conquered. i have always won.

if i choose love over friendship, will it mean failure on my part?

how strong is my heart? how deep is your love?

if i choose you, can you promise forever? will you not make me realize tomorrow that i made the wrong decision of choosing love over friendship?

think. ponder. reflect.

a choice has to be made sooner or later.


love or friendship?


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the proposal

yesterday, as i was passing time reading an old issue of a known broadsheet here, i stumbled upon this announcement. i hope this is not one of those endorsement tactics.


hay. nagagawa nga naman ng pag- ibig.

i hope he got a yes.




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my new pet pippo

please help me feed pippo, my pet hippopotamus. he only eats 10php coins. for donation, please leave a comment or you can feed him personally. thanks in advance.




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on this first day of august

the first news i got this morning is the death of the first woman president of the republic. and so i said a little prayer for her soul and thanked God for using her as an instrument to restore this country's democracy.

thank you madam ex- president.

i just got home an hour ago from a 24- hr duty in the hospital and as i check my blog, i was surprised that an old friend of mine left me a note although she didn't know who i was because i am using a pseudo. (devilish grin)

since she wrote to me on this blogger, its certain that she also keep an account here and had been writing here. just checked her page a while ago and i've felt something inside of me. i guess it was the distance... the nostalgia. for a moment i had a flashback and saw the long hallways of our old school... the friendships... the adventures... the ceremonies... the goodbyes... as we went on with our own lives we lost track of each other and after ten years we were able to find each other again through the death of a friend.

(i am happy too that i can catch up with them through reading their posts. i have an additional of 2 blogs to read. yey! i missed reading since my friend que stopped posting. i swear i've read everything he wrote there. im a self confessed fan of his blog. miss you, friend!)

i was reading my own post about the death of my friend and i was ashamed that two of my friends have written her long passages while i have written only 'goodbye' and 'thank you'. i am not being cold there. but yes, i did feel ashamed because we've been so close before. when i visited her on the first day of her wake, i talked to her as i looked at her in the 'box'. in my mind, i told her everything i wanted to tell her. tears didn't come out but there was this lingering pain in my chest seeing her like that (pain is much like having angina pectoris). i have been thinking of her weeks before her death. it broke my heart that we didn't get a chance to see each other again.

(to my two dear friends, i added you in my blogosphere for my convenience)



i hate you ex- girlfriend!

i do not know why this is happening to me again. is there a lesson that i have to learn here?

THE case scenario:
a guy likes me and is starting to show it
this guy has an ex girlfriend. its been a hundred years since they broke up
the ex- girlfriend knew her ex-boyfriend is eyeing on me
ex- girlfriend got jealous, realized she still love her ex- boyfriend
ex- girlfriend displays emotion again for her ex- boyfriend who is currently giving me sweet nothings
guy looks around and poof!
ex- boyfriend and ex- girlfriend aren't on 'EX'- status anymore
they are back in each other's arms again

and me? all i said is 'what the f...?' kaloka!

i mean, is heaven using me to make couples realize that they are for each other (oh dear Lord, why me????) i don't really like the guy as in 'REALLY' like him and that he's the one for me. well, he MIGHT be. but how will we know that if we didn't get the chance to go further?

hmmm... well maybe im beginning to like the guy. and maybe hoping he can be someone significant. he made me laugh sometimes. and it's supposed to be 'something' when someone makes you laugh. but i cannot win with past love affair. they already have that common ground we don't have yet.

now that this happened to me for the second time around, will i let this pass again and just think that he's not the one and someone else will come along? or stay in the battlefield and fight the tug of war? hmmm... im getting really irritated. hohummm for sure after a good meal at that greek resto i've been eyeing for weeks now and after a good night's sleep, i'll return to the carefree me again and choose the former. good bye lover boy. hope you and your then ex-girlfriend will be happy for a very long time.


food finds

i am beginning to fall in love again with food. D, my good friend and colleague gave me the addy of his sister's blogpage. she's been writing about the restos she's been to and rated them. i must say, she's giving me good advices where my palate will indulge. like her, i also wanted to try polish, portuguese, russian food, etc. my, my, my those pictures in her blog keeps me dreaming of FOOD!




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