im tired

i've been pondering whether to write about this. i am quite hesitant to do it but this is my blog, right? and i should be free to write about anything coz if not, this blog is meaningless (and should be shut down immediately). well, i guess coz now, i just don't care. im tired. for the longest time ive been trying to repair something that seems to be too hard to fix.

whatever i do, things just don't seem to work. it's like im playing the part of an ill doer asking for forgiveness from a stone or as a criminal being avoided but well in fact i know deep in my heart that i don't deserve any of those.

we live only once and i don't want to spend my life chasing after people who do not consider what i consider as important, who could drop you like a hot potato anytime and take you back whenever like there's nothing that has happen. i have feelings too, right?

i just don't deserve it.

im tired.

i think this has finally got it's toll on me.

im stopping now.


maybe it's time for me to accept that there are things i cannot get back as it used to be. i shouldn't dwell on the past. and that i should accept the fact that not all people value relationships built for years.

i'll take away this thing on my chest that's been hurting me. i shouldn't have allowed it to be there in the first place. it's not even worth it.

so i say, ENOUGH. i'm tired. i'm moving on. and i make no apology with the way things has turned out with me.



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nothing's ever built to last

eksena sa ROD call room:
cy: one- twenty one guns...
me: tungkol ba saan yang song na yan?
lucky: oo nga
cy: ewan ko. basta kinakanta ko lang





i heart this version




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tic talk ala chika minute

i had buckets of sweat yesterday despite the aircon. it's the first time i drove borgy all by myself yesterday. thanks to my super bait ambulance driver who was so supportive. i drove in a convoy with him driving the ambulance. it was scary but i think i had been more aware of my mistakes.

i wish i can have a picture with borgy and make it my profile pic in fb but my 'official photographer' is a little busy. well i might do that myself over the weekend coz ive been missing doing the clickin. i wont do it to brag about having a car though i confess i am a little but i am just a proud momma! and borgy and me, we're together everyday for almost a week now. he's my constant date to work, hee hee.

parang ang bilis ng oras, ano? it's mid june already! i am dragging myself to read harrison everyday and scare myself that ive got a few months left to prepare. it also excites me that it will only be a few weeks before i ride my first airbus! awww i feel pitied now. i have rode everything but the airbus. im more excited than scared because ill be doing it by myself. haha.

i remember last week, i went out to watch satc2 with kla, one of my hs buddies whom i haven't seen for ages. we were supposed to be a group but ended up with only the two of us because of last minute cancellation from rhodsie and master neil due to health issues and stuff. hope that when the next twilight installment comes, we will be a group watching. oh i just love reunions now. catching up on each other's lives and at the same time reminiscing the old times. i have been skyping with my dear bestfriend zel whom i haven't spoke to in ages also and i was so amazed with how much she has matured! she was our baby back then but now, she's the one giving me advices on love and life in general. i miss her. i miss how i loved huggin her back then. ang lambot nya kase. hehe. (peace!!!) next week ill attend the wedding of mark, a friend i had way back in elementary. it's gonna be a sweet reunion after more than a decade of not seeing each other and a sad despedida coz he and his wifey are migrating to canada. next month, i'll be flying to visit my college dorm buddy who's down south. and i promised to go out with another college friend when she comes home in aug. i would love to fetch her from the airport. how i wish i can drive in the metro by that time harhar.

ok time to go now. hope next time there will be pictures.

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im in love!

you know how it feels when your heart skip the moment you lay eyes on something that's really wonderful? i had that feeling a while ago and i knew i am in love!

honestly, i am not a fan of rubber shoes. i just have a pair of nike tennis shoes just in case i feel the urge to jog and that's all. but when i saw these converse high cut rubber shoes (dont know what they're called) i was mesmerized. i know i must have 'em.

yep, i tried it on. i heart this color!!!

gorgeous, isn't it?

when i looked at the price tag, my heart sank. i don't have enough moolah to take it home (awwwww....snif snif) hay. i was wishing for fairy godmother to appear and buy me that shoe. hayz. well if there's anyone out there, im size 36.5. please be my fairy godmother!




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happiness is this deep

happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.

You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.

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got a new baby

yup, that's right. but apparently, all the current speculations from my friends with regards to who or what this baby is, are wrong.

hindi sya tao, hindi sya hayop. pero bagay- na bagay kami.
inuubos nya ang pera ko at napapagod ang mga binti ko pag kasama ko sya (no pun intended).

it doesn't breathe but it has a name. i named it Borgy. why? coz i remember, one of my fellow docs in the first hospital i worked in told me that if i'll get a car, i should name it Borgy and so i did. Yup, i just got a car this week. Borgy's birth date is actually may 31, 2010. he's a handsome toyota corolla gli wide body. i still don't have a picture with him yet. i wanted master neil to do the honors in doing the photo shoot. neil, up to now believes that Borgy is my new boyfriend. LOL.





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LSS

kanina ko pa to pinapaulit ulit. haha. heard it while at work so i looked it up in youtube. hay. i just love listening to it. parang ang sarap sarap ma-inlove hihihi.



dont mind the lyrics though. parang joke kase eh. haha. i wish i can find a piano piece of this. i want to learn how to play this song. pramis!




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