buhay MO III

the last ten days were one of the memorable experiences i had as a general practitioner. on most days, our emergency room were swarmed by patients from all over the island. on a non- duty day, i usually go home at 5pm but there were times you just have to stick around the hospital and help. ours is not the only hospital in the island. but people from even the farthest local which is a six hours drive away opt to be transferred to our care. they say, we have the most competent doctors. i cannot take the credit because i am only new there. that goes to all the doctors before me and those who have stayed there for years who have dedicated their time and expertise and me, being one of the newest addition to the group, have to uphold to the people's expectation. giving the optimum care is really a challenge when resources are limited to work up our patients(paging local government officials!!!).

i don't know if it was in the news about a child who picked up a grenade and brought it to his playmates. the grenade exploded and killed two children in an instant. five children were seriously injured. the parents decided to transfer them in our hospital even if it's six hours away because they believed that we can save their lives. and that, no matter how difficult, we cannot run from them or tell them we can only do so little. two of them died while they were admitted. one of them, i have attended myself when she went to cardio-respiratory arrest. i did the CPR but i wasn't not able to save her. the extent of her injury was just too much for her frail body. the explosion perforated a lot of her bowels. she went to arrest after her operation. the kid is just 11 years old. the third child her parents have lost because of the devastating incident. when i went out of the room, i didn't have the guts to tell her mother about the news. i looked into her eyes and then she knew. no words... at that point, it's like everything went to slow-mo and then time stopped. i saw her world fell apart.

the day after, someone woke me up at 3am to assist in an emergency operation. the next thing i knew, i was holding bowels in my hands. the guy we are operating on achieved multiple gunshot wounds in the abdomen. how and why it happened was a puzzle coz we are currently under a gun ban because of the forthcoming elections. he did survive.

the last was the patient i transferred to luzon island via the RO-RO ship. he was commatosed, intubated, with no one but me. the three hours of travel we endured were the longest hours of my life. his relatives who were with us prayed that he'll make it. i prayed harder. i tell the patient from time to time to hold on. the feel of his pulse is the only thing that gave me peace in that entire trip. went home at 2am so tired but happy and relieved that i went home alone. coz if my patient died on the trip, he's gonna go home with me and that didn't happen. God is so good.

losing a patient is something a doctor cannot escape from. we may be the best, we can exhaust all the resources available, but sometimes losing a life is inevitable. losing a patient is that constant reminder to us that we, healers, are not gods. life is a grace that we must be thankful for everyday. trying to save someone is like buying time. a lot of times its begging, bargaining for another moment to live... on the opposite end, saving someone's life gives the best feeling in the world.




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