im tired

i've been pondering whether to write about this. i am quite hesitant to do it but this is my blog, right? and i should be free to write about anything coz if not, this blog is meaningless (and should be shut down immediately). well, i guess coz now, i just don't care. im tired. for the longest time ive been trying to repair something that seems to be too hard to fix.

whatever i do, things just don't seem to work. it's like im playing the part of an ill doer asking for forgiveness from a stone or as a criminal being avoided but well in fact i know deep in my heart that i don't deserve any of those.

we live only once and i don't want to spend my life chasing after people who do not consider what i consider as important, who could drop you like a hot potato anytime and take you back whenever like there's nothing that has happen. i have feelings too, right?

i just don't deserve it.

im tired.

i think this has finally got it's toll on me.

im stopping now.


maybe it's time for me to accept that there are things i cannot get back as it used to be. i shouldn't dwell on the past. and that i should accept the fact that not all people value relationships built for years.

i'll take away this thing on my chest that's been hurting me. i shouldn't have allowed it to be there in the first place. it's not even worth it.

so i say, ENOUGH. i'm tired. i'm moving on. and i make no apology with the way things has turned out with me.



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