yesterday could have been a more 'fruitful' day for me if only my phone didn't ran out of prepaid. darn. hate it when it happens. of all the time in the world... it happened in the very minute that i badly needed it. so there i was strolling in sm north ALONE. trying to see if i can get a reload anywhere and eventually find nothing. hay, i just can imagine papsi hating me for asking him where he was and if he's gonna do anything and not replying to him and worse, not being able to answer his calls. hay, when i felt my phone vibrating, i was already in the middle of elliptical road, about to go home.
on my way, i decided to pass by feu hospital to ask how much HBsAb is. my doctor prescribed the test on the last week of march but i wasnt able to accomplish it due to my very busy schedule. when i was there, i took a glimpse of the outpatient department and i saw a familiar guy sorting little pieces of paper in one of the drawers. 'totoo na ito, clerk na sila,' i said to myself as i felt a chill run down my spine.
i have my own share of anxiety about clerkship. well maybe my share is a little bit bigger than anybody else that i wanted to skip it na lang and just go straight into graduation. the only things that made me come to terms with my apprehension were the stories of my buddy, elaine, about her duties. i guess what really scare me about clerkship is not being able help save a life because i don't know things or i forgot about them... it's the feeling of inadequacy and self- frustration that i am really afraid of. that one day, in my rounds, im going to ask myself where the hell i was when things were lectured to us. and that im going to realize that ive learned nothing in those three years that i sit in the classroom listening and/ or trying to listen and in so many sleepless nights of forcing multitude of facts in my brain which is in near liquefaction due to lack of sleep and stress. i just hope i'll be able to remember my bud's stories when its my time to be a clerk, which is not so far from now.
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THE MANILA WALKING TOURS
ok, so i guess im a little frustrated when i learned about the walking tours and how literal those words would be. i've been interested the moment i've read one of papsi's friends entry about it that i wanted to try joining in one of the tours this vacation. well, touring manila on foot is ok with me but with this kind of summer's heat... yay! ayoko. im 99 percent sure, i wont be able to enjoy it.
I am a frustrated tourist and i wanted to go wherever and whenever my schedule and my budget permits. what i really like about going is not the actual place that i will be visiting but the experience of going there. for me, sitting at the back of the driver is the most fun part. that's the time when i can get in touch with my thoughts and my wild imagination. but most of the time i enjoy seeing a lot of things that we passed by, like a movie strip rolling in my window. ok, so i guess im not just a frustrated tourist but a frustrated director too. i often joked that what i really like to go into was film and directing and i was just fooled by my eyesight. pareho kaseng 'd' at 'r' yung umpisa at dulo. akala ko yun na yun (director at doctor) hehehe. hmmm, well that's another story.
so i guess i would be spending my second to the last vacation at home. i just hope my mom would be kind enough to arrange an outing before i go back to school like hear a mass in Manaoag or a swimming spree in one of subic's beaches. hmm.. i must still be dreaming.
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