cool change

i didn't realize how hot the weather has become until i finally left the house and visited my old neighborhood in the city. malamig pa rin naman dito sa min. nakakatulog pa din ako na hindi kailangan kahit electric fan. pero sa city, hay naku ang init! and this rotating brownout really sucks big time. kamusta naman talaga. dati pag walang koryente at mainit, yung mga tao pumupunta sa mall para magpalamig pero ngayon kahit sa mall mainit na rin. considering na nasa isa sa mga ayala malls ako kanina huh. hindi kinaya ng generator nila ang mga pangyayari. ayun, 9pm pa lang nagsasara na lahat ng boutiques at kainan. eh usually may bukas pa till 10pm di ba? feel ko pa naman sana manood kanina ng sine pero wag nalang. baka pati sa sinehan mawalan ng power eh hindi ko makakayanan andun sa loob ng ganun kadilim. iaasa ko nalang yan sa dibidi. parang naging isang greenhouse nalang ang trinoma kanina at factory ng carbon dioxide. hirap huminga. para kang mauubusan ng hangin sa loob katulad ng naranasan ng namatay na mga isda sa dalampasigan ng laguna de bay.

ibang klase talaga ang taon na to. di pa tapos ang first quarter pero andami na nangyari. para akong may scolio na pilit itinutuwid and likod. ouch! on the first day of this month came the realization of how much i miss doing the consultation thing; seeing patients again, listening to their problems, and making them well. thanks to ate madel who dragged me to a medical mission somewhere in malolos. it was more like an omen though coz i lost my so called job when i got home.

kamustasa talaga. im the girl who almost lost everything. I --- lost friends, lost job, lost my only source of income for four months. hay buhay. pero kahit pa, i never questioned God. i didn't ask if this was His way of showing His love for me. i have faith that everything has it's purpose and are always for the better. it wasn't a question of love. it's a matter of faith. i remember when i had to leave my job(s) because of my condition, i thought i would go back to my old parasite self asking mom for my needs and wants but then i was able to find another job that suits my restrictions. when my life was in the trough, He didn't leave me empty handed. so Now, maybe, this is His way of telling me that those days were over. now i must go and claim my life back.

lo and behold, after three days, meron na kong nahanap na bagong raket. eto lang ang masarap sa pagmomoonlight. pag ayaw mo na, e di iwan mo. madaling umayaw, at madali ding humanap ng iba. para ka lang nagpapalit ng panty. hehe. but, at isang malaking BUT yun, quality ones are so hard to find. sana lang enjoy tong nahanap ko kase mejo matagal din akong mawawala.

so a few days from now, ill be leaving this hot and humid place with it's rotating brownouts. ill be in that small island somewhere in the south, alone, to do what i missed doing and enjoy the rush of the ocean.



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